A Wicked Transmigration to the West Coast
by wickedmetalviking1990
Summary: Four people from Los Angeles have disappeared, replaced by four people from Oz: can our favorite geniuses uncover the secret of this mysterious turn of events and set it to rights? Wicked/TBBT cross-over, rated T. please read and review
1. Chapter 1

**(AN: So far, my other stories aren't engaging enough: I know I should be working on _Which Witch is Which?_, but I've been wrestling with something.)**_  
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**(My story _A Second Chance_ was based on an idea entirely of my own, before I got into _The Big Bang Theory_. However, I looked back on it, having now gotten deeply into said TV show, and find that there's a lot that's similar: I assure you, it wasn't intentional. But then, while examining it, I saw that a cross-over between _The Big Bang Theory_ and _Wicked_ could just work. So here's the exploration of that idea, hope you enjoy it.)  
**

* * *

_Recently, in an apartment deep, deep in Southern California..._

Morning in the apartment, Sheldon Cooper was on his way to his laptop computer for a quick early morning chat with his unofficial female-friend Amy. As per the normal protocol, he had the first dibs on the shower, which meant that his short, bespectacled comrade Leonard Hofstadter was busy cleansing himself.

As Sheldon was waiting for his laptop to power up, he heard a loud scream coming from the room across the hall. The room over there belonged to their neighbor Penny, who was currently in a relationship with Leonard. A vein twitched in Sheldon's long neck as his auditory senses were unnerved by the sound. However, that annoying gentlemanly streak, born of his youth in the heart of East Texas, could not let him sit by while there was a damsel in distress: or maybe it was a sense of chivalry, brought on by his immersion in high fantasy.

At last, Sheldon conceded: he left the apartment's living room and walked over to the bathroom door. As per his routine, he knocked three times upon the door, three knocks each, while addressing his room-mate by name.

Knock knock knock. "Leonard". Knock knock knock. "Leonard". Knock knock knock. "Leonard".

"What is it, Sheldon?" a frustrated voice called out from the other side of the bathroom door.

"There seems to be something wrong with our neighbor, Penny," Sheldon stated very formally.

"I'm kind of in the shower right now," Leonard replied. "Why can't you do something about it?"

"Three reasons," Sheldon replied. "First, you are her boyfriend. I believe the social rules of relationships dictate that the male respond to any incidents wherein his mate might be in danger or injured. Secondly, I'm already disrupting my morning routine just by delivering this to you, and I do not wish to disrupt it any further."

"I know I'm going to regret it," Leonard asked. "But what's the third reason?"

"The third reason is I just don't want to," Sheldon plainly stated.

"Look, you're just going to have to go over there and see what's wrong yourself." Leonard replied.

"But I don't want to!" Sheldon insisted.

"I'm in the shower," Leonard retorted.

"But I heard a scream," Sheldon began. A few moments later and Leonard appeared, his short hair dripping wet, glasses back on his face and clad in his red bath-robe.

"I assumed it would be urgent," Sheldon concluded.

"Well, why didn't you say so before?" Leonard asked.

"I did say so before."

"Look, will you stop quoting Star Wars and come with me?" Leonard took off toward the door at the far end of the apartment with Sheldon in tow.

Out the door they went and across the apartment floor, past the elevator which hadn't been fixed in a long while, they now stood before the door of their neighbor Penny's apartment. Since he was the first one to the door, Leonard knocked.

"Penny, are you alright in there?" he asked.

There was silence on the other end, followed by some stumbling about and a yelp of either surprise or pain.

"What do you think's wrong?" Leonard asked, forgetting momentarily in whose presence he was now standing.

"I would venture to suggest," Sheldon began. "That her severely lacking organizational skills have finally caught up to her."

Leonard sighed, mentally slapping himself on the forehead for asking such a question.

"What was that for?" Sheldon asked, noting his comrade's sigh. "I was merely stating the most logical conclusion, based on our previous expeditions into that messy jungle she calls a room."

"Never mind," Leonard rolled his eyes, then turned to the door as it was sliding open.

To the surprise of both of the geniuses, the person standing in the door-way was not Penny. Instead, there stood a short woman with curly blond hair, eyes as blue as Sheldon's Superman T-shirt, and a rather generous bosom: she looked more like Howard Wolowitz's fiance Bernadette. To make things even more awkward, she had a bath-towel wrapped around her person.

"Uh, who are you?" Leonard asked. "Where's Penny?"

"Who?" the blond asked. Her voice was wholly different from that of Penny or Bernadette: far too bubbly and youthful.

"This is Penny's apartment," Leonard replied. "She lives here, she's my..."

"She and Leonard," Sheldon interjected. "Are engaged in a relationship. Surprising, considering his general lack of appealing factors or scientific achievement."

"Thanks a lot, Sheldon," Leonard stated sarcastically.

"You're welcome," Sheldon replied cluelessly.

"Aww, I think you're cute," the blond said to Leonard with a tiny bit of a smile. "But wait, who are you again?"

"I'm Leonard," he replied. "I live across the hall. Who are you?"

"Galinda Upland," the blond replied. "And that's Ga-linda, with a 'gah'."

* * *

**(AN: Cue the _Barenaked Ladies_ theme-song!)**

**(Since this is my first work based on _The Big Bang Theory_, feedback is welcomed. Are my depictions in character? Any other thoughts about what might happen? Reviews are helpful: they let me know who's reading my story, and if you suggest some good ideas, I just might find a place for them in the story. You never know :)  
**

**(Lastly, there will be references to other media, as typical in TBBT [you can clearly see that I've got at least two _Star Wars_ references in here], so please don't sue me George Lucas [or any others whose media I will respectively quote/borrow from].)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**(AN: New chapter.)**

* * *

In the apartment room belonging to Dr. Cooper and Dr. Hofstadter, the little blond Galinda, now clad in one of Penny's bath-robes, took a seat on the sofa while Leonard sat on the one-seat chair and Sheldon paced about, every synapse in his brain firing to attempt to determine the cause of this strange circumstance.

"Are you sure you have no idea how you got into Penny's apartment?" Leonard asked Galinda again.

"I told you," the blond replied. "I went to sleep in my dorm-room and woke up in that apartment!" She waved one hand in the direction of Penny's apartment.

"Fascinating," Sheldon stated, in his best imitation of Spock. "Still, it does not seem to answer the problem."

"What problem?" Galinda asked curiously.

"Oh, you really don't wanna..." Leonard began, but Sheldon was already beginning his explanation.

"The problem at hand," Sheldon interjected. "Is that you claim to be from a place or world that, most likely, does not exist."

"This coming from the guy," Leonard asked. "Who put a clause in our room-mate agreement concerning if you ever got super-powers or were bitten by a zombie?"

"Both of which are highly likely." Sheldon defended.

"And you're also the one who constantly brings up infinite universes theory," Leonard stated, only slightly bored at this point.

"Yes."

"And yet her story isn't true?"

"Exactly, now you're learning," Sheldon stated with a self-confident smile.

"Why?" Leonard asked, forgetting that he probably shouldn't.

"As per the theory of infinite universes," Sheldon began. "If there are an infinite number of universes, they would be duplicates of this one, only slightly different. In this universe, there is no such place as Oz and, by her accent, I highly doubt that she is from Australia. I believe it is referred to in summary as 'Aus'."

Just then the door opened and Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali entered the room.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Raj began. "But I couldn't get Howard on his sco..." His tongue seemed to swell up in his mouth as he saw the pretty blond girl sitting on the sofa.

"Oh, hello," Galinda greeted. "Are you a Winkie?"

A look of profound discomfort passed over Raj's face as he crossed the living room and took a place somewhat behind Leonard and Sheldon.

"Excuse me for a moment," Sheldon said, then walked over to his laptop computer and began searching the Internet for any possible answers. Just then, Skype alerted him that Amy Farrah Fowler, his unofficial girl-friend, wished to speak with him. He accepted.

To his supreme surprise, the woman looking back at him in the web-chat window was not Amy. She had raven hair and glasses, but any resemblence stopped there.

"Who are you?" the dark-haired woman and Sheldon asked together.

"I asked you first!" they both cried in unison.

"I'm Sheldon Cooper," he replied. "And you are not Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Of course I'm not," the woman replied. "What is this?"

"I believe what you're looking at is a laptop computer," Sheldon replied. "But that is immaterial: where is Amy?"

"Elphie!" the little blond exclaimed, jumping up from the couch and pushing Sheldon out of his seat as she addressed the dark-haired woman on the computer screen. She suddenly did a double-take.

"Elphie?" she asked. "Is that you?"

"I think I'm pretty sure who I am, Galinda," the dark-haired woman replied. "Why?"

"Well, y-you're not green!"

The dark-haired woman on the web-cam looked down at her hands and gave a cry of alarm. Meanwhile, Sheldon Cooper returned to Galinda's side.

"Excuse me, but you pushed me out of my chair as I was sitting at my laptop."

"And?"

"I insist that you move."

Galinda turned back to the screen. Sheldon, meanwhile, turned to Leonard.

"She's sitting in my chair!"

"Alright, listen," Leonard interjected. "We need to calm down, all right?"

"Uh, excuse me," the dark-haired woman on the screen asked. "How am I supposed to be calm? I woke up in someone else's room!"

"Why don't you come over here, then?" Leonard asked. "We have your...uh..." He turned to Galinda. "How do you know her?"

"We're room-mates at Shiz," Galinda replied.

"Huh?" Leonard asked.

"I believe that's slang for excrement, or, in the more common term..."

"It's the name of the university we attend," the dark-haired one interjected.

"Anyway," Leonard continued, turning back to the web-cam. "Please come over, so we can sort this out. We sort of have our jobs to attend to." Just then, Raj leaned over and whispered something in Leonard's ear.

"Well, how do I know where you are?" the raven-haired woman asked.

"Sheldon, give her directions," Leonard stated.

"Why me?"

"Because I have to talk to Raj in the hallway."

"So?" Sheldon protested. "Why can't she go in the hallway and we talk in here?" He gestured to Galinda.

"Hey, I'm still here, dweeb-cicle!"

"Oh, dear Lord, it's like I'm back in college!" Sheldon exclaimed.

"Just give her the directions," Leonard sighed. "I'll talk to Raj in the hall-way." Taking his Indian friend by the arm, Leonard led him outside of the apartment, where they could talk out of the company of women: after all, Raj found himself strangely tongue-tied whenever he was around a woman, except when watered with alcohol. Once they were outside, Leonard shut the door behind them.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked.

"Okay," Raj began. "I went over to Howard's mother's house, to see if I could get a ride over here, and he didn't answer the door."

"So what?" Leonard asked. "He's probably just hung over, or sleeping in with Bernadette."

"It gets worse," Raj continued. "I heard his mother shouting at him..."

"Raj, I think we all hear Howard's mother shouting at him when we go to visit his place."

"But he always answers her back," Raj stated. "This time, nothing: not even a peep!"

Leonard's head tilted slightly to the left and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "That _is_ a little odd. Did you try calling him?"

"Absolutely."

"And what happened?"

"I heard his mother shouting at him to answer his cell-phone," Raj replied. "But he never did."

"Okay, this is starting to sound like a serious problem," Leonard commented. "Maybe I should call Bernadette, she might know where he is." He took out his cellular phone, dialed her number and held the device up to his ear. A few moments later, he put his phone back in his pocket.

"What happened?"

"She didn't answer either," he replied. "Went straight to voice-mail."

"Okay, this is getting really _really_ strange," Raj stated.

"I know. I mean, what are the odds that four people could disappear on roughly the same evening?"

"I'm sure Sheldon could give you the exact odds..."

"I'm not really interested." Leonard shook his head.

Just then, from up the long, winding flight of stairs, there approached a woman wearing clothes that were clearly not her size. She was tall, about a few inches more than average height for women in their early twenties, with jet black hair and a face that, all at once, was as beautiful as an angel and as imposing as a tiger. The eyes, however, seemed to be her most prominent feature: dark brown with flecks of gray.

"What?" the raven-haired woman asked them. "What are you staring at?"

Raj, of course, was stunned into silence, while Leonard was unable to speak, for he feared that this woman, much taller than him and rather imposing, would attack him. It seemed quite likely in any case.

"Uh...help?" Leonard muttered feebly.

* * *

**(AN: That was about as much as I could force out and have it feel okay.)**

**(As far as Leonard's reaction to [well, I guess you know who that is], it's pretty much the assumed belief in a lot of fan-fiction I've seen on here, that, in any other world, among any other people and under any other conditions, she would be accepted. I'm going slightly against that assumption. As much as we would love to believe so, she does have a very rough exterior [even rougher in her book incarnation, which I'm starting to loathe...unadulteratedly, I might add], and, as I recall, is very passionate, which could be misconstrued as fanaticism or insanity. Furthermore, in accordance with how you would probably depict her, take the green away, and she looks like a creepy Idina Menzel look-alike.)  
**

**(Yes, I'm stepping on the OBC fan-girls' toes by that remark, but she does scare the hell out of me with that glare of hers. As such, she is not the inspiration for the visual description of _her_: I chose my staple, Eden Espinosa who, by the way, can look scary herself at times [Just check out her _RENT_ photos].)  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**(AN: A rather short chapter, with very feeble attempts at humor.)**

* * *

The apartment was starting to get crowded. All were seated, with Sheldon at the left-most side of the sofa, along with the two women: not by choice, but because that place was 'his spot' and he was ready to defend it with what little muscle he had in his thin frame.

At the moment, he seemed to be carefully examining the tall, thin dark-haired woman. She was sitting down with hands at her side, practically swimming Amy's clothes, which were not her size in the slightest. In some strange way, at least to him, he found her strangely attractive.

"So now that we're all here," Leonard said. "What do we do?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the raven-haired woman, Elphaba, she called herself, began. "We need to get back to our own world."

"But we haven't even concluded where your 'world' is, or if it exists," Sheldon stated.

"Yeah, what part of Oz is Los Angeles?" Elphaba asked.

"Excuse me, but this is Los Angeles, a city in California, the western coast of the nation known erroneously as the 'United States of America'. According to the original meaning of the word 'state', which was closer to 'country', the Union would therefore be made up of fifty independent countries. If anything, it should be called the United Provinces of America."

Elphaba scoffed. "You mean we're not in Oz anymore?"

"I think so," Leonard stated.

"You sound like my father," Elphaba scoffed. "All this nonsense about other worlds."

"I couldn't agree more," Sheldon stated.

Leonard turned to his room-mate with a look of utter bewilderment.

"What?" Sheldon asked. "It's quite obvious she's an extremely intelligent woman, taken for mentally insane, and the blond is her lesbian lover."

Galinda gasped, her hand going over her mouth, while the raven-haired Elphaba laughed.

"What's so funny?" Sheldon asked.

"Yeah, he doesn't understand humor." Leonard stated.

"I can't tell you," Elphaba gasped in between fits of laughter. "How many people back at Shiz have said the exact same things about us!"

"It's oh, so scandalacious!" Galinda exclaimed, the color rising in her cheeks.

"Excuse me," Sheldon interrupted. "It is 'scandalous'. And we haven't agreed that you're from this fanciful world of Oz."

"And why do you insist that it's fanciful?" Leonard asked.

"Oh, please, Leonard," Sheldon scoffed. "Even one as intellectually inept as yourself would know that the word 'Oz', if not the shortened form of 'Australia', comes from the name of the 1939 film _The Wizard of Oz_, which was in and of itself based on the 1900 children's book by Lyman Frank Baum called _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz_. I should know, my Meemaw read to me the Oz series as a child: I found it bland, boring and fraught with political and intellectual plot-holes."

"Still," Leonard continued, dismissing the slight against his intelligence. "Both Sherlock Holmes and your Mr. Spock agree that if you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

"That's absurd!" Sheldon remarked. "With that kind of 3rd grade logic, we'd all be believing in God and unicorns!"

"Hey, unicorns are real!" Galinda commented. "At least, I think they are."

"Actually," Elphaba continued. "They _were_ real. They became extinct during the rule of Ozma the Gamely. She hunted most of the Gilikin unicorns to the brink of extinction, without so much as asking if they were Unicorns or not."

"I retract what I said about extreme intelligence," Sheldon stated. At that moment, Raj crossed the room and whispered in Leonard's ear.

"Yes, I know that's the problem," Leonard replied with an exasperated tone. "But we don't know where to begin."

"Begin with what?" Sheldon and Elphaba asked in unison.

"Our friend Howard is missing," Leonard stated. At this, Sheldon laughed his tiny, breathy chortle. "What now?"

"Nothing," he replied, resuming his calm demeanor. "I just find the statement that Howard is our friend to be a bit of an over-embellishment."

"Why?" Galinda asked curiously.

"Because Sheldon doesn't believe in human interaction," Leonard stated.

"It's true," Sheldon replied. "Humans are filled with germs and bacteria, not to mention their deplorable emotional instabilities and general warm-and-fuzzy amiability."

"You're right," Elphaba stated.

"Incredible!" Sheldon stated. "Tell me, are you incapable of disagreeing with me? Are you awed by my flawless logic and unbeatable wit, or are you attempting some feeble, half-witted form of mockery by just agreeing with everything I say?"

"No, I honestly agree with you," Elphaba returned. "The best friends are the ones you don't have."

"Hey!" Galinda interjected. "That's mean!"

"That's the truth, duckie!"

Leonard sighed, hanging his head. This was obviously getting nowhere fast. Sheldon and Elphaba seemed to be enthralled with each other's general misanthropy and narcissism, Galinda was just a harmless observer and he and Raj were just flies on the wall. Suddenly, he felt his pants' pocket vibrating. Taking out his cell-phone and checking the caller-ID, he saw that it was Howard's number. "Finally," he sighed. He flipped open the phone and said "Hello?"

The one who answered was not Howard Wolowitz.

* * *

**(AN: Hope you enjoyed this very small, somewhat droll chapter)**

**(Obviously, Sheldon is going to be eternally skeptical about the existence of Oz, just as how Elphaba is in eternal denial over the existence of other worlds apart from Oz [they obviously work well together, which is one thing I'm bringing up in this chapter].)  
**

**(As far as Elphaba's depiction, I'm trying seriously to keep liking her, but I followed this role-player on _tumblr_ who portrayed book-verse Elphaba, and she was quite an ass. That, and my own revelations about Elphaba's narcissism [she wants nothing more than to be noticed and have all of Oz loving her and celebrating her, a la "The Wizard and I", and gets that in "Defying Gravity", and even admits that she was "just seeking attention" in "No Good Deed"] have made me less and less amiable towards her character. Sad but true)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**(AN: New chapters are fun, especially when they get to be published! This one was kind of scatter-shot, though, to be honest. Having seen that episode with the robot street fight, I know that, as much as Sheldon wants to treat everyone [especially Master Wolowitz] like they're peons, Howard is more useful than people give him credit, especially here in this story.)**

* * *

The little apartment was starting to get crowded. The sofa had blond-haired Galinda, red-nosed and sneezing. The other two seats were filled by a young man with short dark hair and, to Sheldon's supreme annoyance, an auburn-haired woman with a lovely, oval-shaped face, sitting in Sheldon's spot. Raj and Leonard were sitting on the side nearest to the kitchen while Sheldon and Elphaba paced almost in unison.

"Leonard!" Sheldon exclaimed angrily. "There is someone in my spot and a disease-ridden female in my apartment!"

"I'm aware of that!" Leonard replied exasperatedly.

"Well, get rid of them!"

"Do I look like I'm capable of sending them back to Oz, or wherever they're from?"

"First of all, Oz does not exist. Secondly..."

"Then how will you get them back to where they belong, Sheldon? Answer that, Mr. Smarter-Than-Thou?"

"Will you two please shut the heck..." Galinda began, but suddenly sneezed very loudly.

Raj whispered into Leonard's ear. "I don't know why she's sick."

They all sighed and/or groaned in frustration, and Galinda sneezed even louder. Raj tugged on Leonard's shoulder and gestured towards the door. Once excused, they left and Leonard closed the door behind them.

"What's wrong, buddie?" Leonard asked.

"I didn't realize," Raj stated thoughtfully. "Just how much I'd miss Howard if he disappeared."

"Same here," Leonard added.

"No, it's worse," Raj replied. "I've been thinking it over, and if these four people from Oz are in our universe instead of our friends, it is quite possible to assume that our friends would be in their universe in their place."

"That actually makes sense," Leonard stated. "Good luck telling that to Sheldon."

"But here's the bad part," Raj finished. "Remember what happened with _M.O.N.T.E._?"

"The robot we built and battled against Kripke's?"

"Well, actually, Howard built it. And after Penny made that scathing remark about him, he wouldn't come out of his room."

"So? How does that affect us here and now?"

"I've been thinking that it could be possible, in theory, to find a way to reach their universe."

"Like Stargate?"

"Exactly, just without the Goa'uld and the horrible script-writing. But the problem would be that none of could actually build a device for inter-dimensional travel."

"Why not?"

"Darn it, Leonard! I'm an astrophysicist, not an engineer!"

"Wait, I'm Leonard, I should be doing the Dr. McKoy impersonations, especially if we're considering Sheldon as our Spock."

"The point is that, although we are both very intelligent, none of us could build a device to open a gateway to their Oz. We might be able to discover how to do it, but not actually make it happen."

Leonard's face fell as he realized this unfortunate truth. "You're right, that is true."

"So what do we do?" Raj asked. But Leonard had no answer to Raj's question, either immediately or after a period of thought.

Meanwhile, back in the apartment...

"You're in my spot!" Sheldon said to the auburn-haired girl.

"I'm sorry?" she returned quizzically.

"It's my spot, you're in it."

"Please, I can't walk," she said.

"Well, then, crawl out of my spot and into that chair," he gestured to the empty one adjacent to the three-seat sofa. "Leonard isn't using it right now."

"Hey!" Elphaba interjected. "She said she can't walk."

"That's not my problem." Sheldon calmly replied.

"Why is Galinda sick?" the youth asked.

"Achoo!"

"Just leave Nessa alone."

"But she's in my spot."

Outside the apartment, there was heard from behind the door a loud bang, the sound of scuffling and then...

Knock knock knock. "Leonard and Raj!" Knock knock knock. "Leonard and Raj!" Knock knock knock. "Leonard and Raj!"

They walked over to the door of their apartment and opened it, where they found a fearful Sheldon quivering before them.

"She hit me," he said, indicating to Elphaba, who was looking in dead shock at her hands.

"No, please, I didn't..."

"It's okay, Elphaba," Leonard said. "I think everyone who knows Sheldon wants to hit him."

"But you don't understand!" Sheldon continued. "She got mad, and then poof! I was thrown clear across the apartment without ever being touched! In the words of my mother, 'Sweet Dear Baby Jesus!'"

"Alright," Leonard said, returning to his seat. "I think everyone owes everyone here an explanation."

"Why?" Galinda sneezed.

"Well, because you woke up in Penny's apartment," Leonard gestured to Galinda. "And you two in Howard's bedroom," He said, looking at the young man and the auburn-haired Nessarose. "And you, you...were in Amy's room!" He tried not looking at Elphaba.

"Obviously, our friends are missing, and we want them back!"

"I miss Howard!" Raj lamented, then suddenly realized that he had spoken in the presence of women. Needless to say, his hands never flew up to cover his mouth faster.

"Alright, let's just start with who you are and where you're from," Leonard said.

"Ooh, a questionnaire!" Sheldon suddenly took interest, forgetting what he was freaked out about just a few moments ago. "First off, my name is Sheldon Lee Cooper, I was born in East Texas, I possess a PhD, an ScD, and my Intelligence Quotient is 187."

"We already know who _you_ are," Leonard interjected. "I mean, let our guests tell who they are."

The young man was the first to rise. "I'm Boq, I'm from Munchkinland and...and my father was a farmer."

"Excuse me," Sheldon interrupted. "But that is obviously incorrect. Presuming that you are indeed from Oz, as you claim to be, Munchkins are roughly three feet tall, round-chested and have high-pitched, squeaky voices. You might be shorter than Leonard, but you're not _that_ short."

"That's popular belief," Boq chuckled uncomfortably. "The thing is, however, there are different types of people living in Munchkinland. Height is something of a sign of status, because all the tallies, or Munchkinlanders, are mayors and governors. It's said everyone who's possessed the title of Eminent Thropp have never been shorter than five feet."

"Fascinating," Sheldon stated. "All complete nonsense, of course, but still..."

"Okay, nice to meet you, Boq," Leonard said. "I'm Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, and you've already met..." he looked back at his room-mate. "Him." He then gestured to Raj. "This is Dr. Raj Koothrappali." They shook hands silently.

"Does he ever talk?" Boq asked, a little creeped out by Raj's silent hand-shake and warm smile.

"Only when there aren't any girls in the room," Leonard replied. He then indicated to the auburn-haired girl. "Alright, tell us your name."

"I am Nessarose Thropp, if you please," she began. "My father is Frexspar Thropp, sometimes called 'the Godly', governor of Munchkinland, currently presiding at Colwen Grounds."

"Can we assume your family married into height as well?" Leonard asked, his head inclining slightly to the left as usual.

Nessarose giggled. "No. I am of the Thropp family, whose female offspring are the heirs of the title Eminent Thropp."

"Actually, Nessa," Elphaba interrupted. "As I am the eldest, the title goes to me."

"Father doesn't love you, he'll give the title to me!"

"Governor of Munchkinland _and_ Eminent Thropp?" Elphaba scoffed. "Father might be 'holier-than-everyone-else', but he can't abuse the laws of Munchkinland _that_ easily."

"Okay, I'm sensing some bad blood between you two," Leonard stated.

"It's not bad blood," Nessa stated. "Elphaba is an infuriating nuisance, and a little bit of a freak."

"Oh, freak yourself!" Elphaba retorted.

"Elphaba Thropp, that kind of language!"

"Father's not here, what's he gonna do about it?"

"There's the rub!" Sheldon stated, once more interrupting the train of thought. "As my higher than average mind is informing me, I believe there might be a connection between, as Nessarose has stated, your status as a 'freak', and what you did to me not but five minutes and thirty-eight seconds ago."

All eyes and ears were turned towards Elphaba, who seemed to be standing right in the middle of a large, non-existent spot-light.

"Well," Elphaba began, her typical rude and asinine behavior stripped away to mere embarrassment. "Sometimes, something just comes over me, and when it does, strange things happen. Please, don't say anything, I _will_ try to control myself."

"Control?" Sheldon asked. "Sounds to me as if you might have the beginnings of super-powers."

"What?"

"Super-powers," Sheldon stated. "Tell me, have you ever been bitten by a radioactive animal?"

"Huh?"

"Were any of your parents super-human or had any particular qualities out of the ordinary?"

"No," Elphaba said. "The only thing different about me is..." She sighed. "That I had green skin."

"Had?" Leonard asked.

"It doesn't make any sense," Elphaba replied. "When I went to bed back in Oz, I was green like fresh cabbage leaves, but when I woke up in your Amy's bed-room, I was as pale as a peach."

"Interesting," Sheldon stated. "Tell me, Elphaba, were you indeed green everywhere?"

"Yes," Elphaba and Nessarose stated in unison.

"Do you know why?" he asked. "Were you too close to an explosion of gamma radiation? Maybe you have Orion in your DNA, you don't look like a Mirialan."

"What did you just say?"

"Oh, dear **LORD**, she's dumber than Penny!" Sheldon exclaimed.

Nessarose laughed, Galinda giggled, then sneezed again, while Elphaba angrily walked towards Sheldon, a confrontational glare in her eyes.

"Excuse me, Mr. Cooper..."

"Dr. Cooper," Sheldon calmly replied. "If you want to threaten me, at least do it properly."

"Dr. Cooper, whatever," she imitated. "Call me an artichoke if you want, but the last thing I am is dumb!"

"I think the first thing I would call you is dumb," Sheldon stated.

"Okay, just hang on a minute," Leonard interjected. "Elphaba," He looked away, as if she were a fair-faced Medusa. "Tell me about Oz."

She walked over to the back-side of the three-seat sofa, leaning on the back-board where Galinda was wiping her nose.

"Not much to tell," she said. "Four countries: Munchkinland, Quadling, Gilikin and the Vinkus. We three are from Munchkinland." Galinda cleared her throat, then hiccuped. "She's from Gilikin."

"The Upper Uplands," Galinda groggily stated.

"Okay, let me clarify," Leonard replied. "What kind of technology do you have there?"

"Technology?" Elphaba asked, as though this were something relatively new to her. "We have muskets and bicycles, and the Wizard is always bringing out new things to make Oz more...wonderful: electric lights were brought to every house in the Emerald City five years ago."

"So therefore," Sheldon stated. "Your 'Oz' is technologically inferior, somewhere in the mid-to-late 19th century. Am I correct?"

"Sheldon, honestly. She has no idea about centuries." He looked back at Elphaba, fear in his eyes as he titled his head a little to the left. "Do you?"

"Uh...no," she replied.

"What about you?" Sheldon asked the blond.

"I'm Galinda and I'm sick," she replied, then sneezed very loudly. "And that's _Ga_-linda, with a 'ga-ga...'" Then sneezed again.

"Why are you sick?" Sheldon queried. "And more importantly, why can't you be sick someplace else?"

"Maybe she's not used to LA weather," Leonard stated. "You know, all the smog and such."

"Ah, smog," Sheldon stated. "Another fool-proof reason for Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper to remain in-doors."

"Aww," Galinda pouted. "I rather like the sound of LA, it's so perky and po-poppy!" She sneezed loudly.

"_Gesundheit_," Sheldon stated.

"What?"

"It's German. It means 'bless you'. Social convention dictates that it is said after someone sneezes."

Leonard sighed. This was once more getting nowhere. What he had talked over with Raj made sense, and he did not relish the thought of being without Penny, or even without Howard. Already it seemed that these new-comers were just gazing on in awe while Sheldon ruled the floor. Raj didn't say a word and he, Leonard, was starting to get annoyed and bored with this, since it wasn't going anywhere.

_Where on Earth are Howard and Penny?_ he asked himself.

* * *

**(AN: Perhaps now would be the excellent chance to cut away to our wayward friends. What do you say?)**

**(That reference to Galinda liking LA is an inside joke. As the visual depiction of Galinda is based on Megan Hilty, who played G[a]linda in Los Angeles' run of _Wicked_, I thought a subtle nod to that would be in order. Also, this is musical-verse [not song-verse]: I'm just struggling with the idea of making Elphaba seem heroic when I can't get the thought of her as an arrogant ass out of my mind. And Galinda being sick is important, and I'm surprised nobody else has caught onto this, especially in multi-verse stories here on _FanFiction_.)  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**(AN: Thanks for the reviews.)**

**(As far as what will happen in this chapter and the next one, it stands to reason that Oz might have different diseases and bacterium than Earth, which means that those without a strong immunity [especially to foreign bacteria] would be more susceptible to infection. That is why Galinda is sneezing so much in the last chapter: she got the common cold.)  
**

* * *

Slowly, Penny opened her eyes upon an all-together unfamiliar room. _Whoa, am I dreaming or what?_ She asked herself as she looked about at the place in which she had arisen. It was a room, as big as the living room and kitchen in her apartment: it was covered in pink. Every square inch of the room was dripping, oozing and bubbling with pink drapery, frills and lace of all shapes and sizes: of course, all in pink.

Just as she was about to envision herself as part of some hideous pink nightmare, she looked about and saw the other half of the room was not so pink. It was rather plain and dark, actually, with no finery or decoration.

She extricated herself out of her pink, frilly bed, then realized that her bed was pink. _Wait, this isn't _my_ bed!_ As she placed her feet on the floor and stood up, she saw that she was clad in a pink night-gown, that was _definitely_ not what she was used to wearing.

Looking over at the other side of the bed, she saw a figure lying within the covers of the opposite bed. She saw long dark hair and could hear snoring coming from the other figure. That one time where she had shared a room with Sheldon's girlfriend made her certain who the other occupant was.

_Oh my God, did Amy and I just…_was her first thought.

After a while, the figure rolled out of the bed and Penny screamed in shock as she saw that the person in her bed was, aside from sharing the basic facial and body structure as the be-specked neurologist who called herself Penny's "best friend"

_Green_.

"Good morning, bestie." Amy greeted Penny, in her usual semi-monotonous voice.

"Amy?"

"Judging from your reaction," Amy began. "I assume you are under the impression that we engaged in harmless lesbianism. I can assure you, that's not the case…" She paused. "Unfortunately."

"Yep, that's Amy," Penny said aloud to herself.

"Of course I am me," Amy replied plainly. "And you are you. Are we done with these obvious observations?"

"But you're green!"

"Do I look ill?"

"No, I mean your _skin_ is green."

Amy took a moment to look down at her hands, and saw that they were indeed green. She crossed over to the pink side of the room and picked up a small mirror, in which she checked her reflection.

"That appears to be so," Amy said. She then looked up at Penny. "Penny, why is my skin green?"

"I don't know," Penny asked. "I don't even know why we're here, or where _here_ is, to be honest."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Amy asked instinctively.

"It is Madam Morrible, your head-mistress," an old woman's voice answered. "I have your sister here, I believe she is in need of your unique treatment, dearie."

Amy turned to Penny.

"I don't have a sister," she stated. Penny shook her head. "Then who is this Madam Morrible talking to?"

"Gee, I just said I don't know."

The door was opened before Amy could retort and the two women got their first glimpse at Madam Morrible. She was about Penny's height, clad in a regal-looking red dress whose skirt swept the floor. Her fingers were covered in rings, but it was really the face that was the most gaudy: leering almost lidless like a fish and covered with too much white make-up. Her hair also was white, receding from her head. When she spoke, it sounded as though she had more than enough years to go on and to spare. In a word, she might look old, but she didn't seem to be old.

With her was a wheel-chair whose occupant was doubled over, face covered by a wave of blond hair. Madam Morrible promptly wheeled the wheel-chair into the room and departed without saying another word, closing the door behind her.

"I'm not exactly sure about body language," Amy began. "But I detected a hint of mistrust in the look that Madam Morrible gave us as she left the room."

Penny, meanwhile, was slowly approaching the wheel-chair-bound figure, clad in a peach-colored night-gown, sitting in the chair with head down.

"Um, excuse me?" Penny asked. "Are you alright?"

Upon hearing Penny's voice, the figure in the wheel-chair lifted her head, and then there was no denying who the person was. Her spectacles were held in her hand, for her eyes were streaming with tears, whatever was left of her make-up streaming down her face in little black rivulets.

"Penny?" Bernadette asked, her voice heavy with sorrow.

"You're not my sister," Amy stated, recognizing the person in the wheel-chair.

"Bernadette?" Penny began. "Oh my god, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I can't move my legs!" the blond microbiologist wept. "I woke up in a strange room, with some hideous, fish-faced old hag snoring in a bed on the far-side."

"That was Madam Morrible," Amy stated, which earned her a scathing glare from Penny, who was more interested in why Bernadette was weeping.

"Okay, so then what?"

"I tried to get out of bed," Bernadette continued between sobs. "And leave the room quietly, but I fell on the floor. I couldn't walk!" She broke down into renewed sobs, throwing her hands over her face as she bemoaned the loss of her legs.

"I believe we can assume," Amy began. "That you started crying upon realizing the loss of the ability to walk. This woke Madam Morrible. But why did she…" The glare once again, but this time, Bernadette made a little noise of surprise.

"Amy?" she asked. She wiped the tears out of her eyes and looked up. "Oh my God! You're green!"

"Yes, I am aware of the fact that my skin is green," Amy replied. "Albeit, I am at a loss as to how this could happen." She looked at Penny, eying her up and down.

"Okay, getting a little uncomfortable here," the blond interjected.

"One of Sheldon's most likely theories of the breakdown of social order," Amy began. "Is the zombie apocalypse. Since I seem to be in control of my higher functions, and find no overly-compelling desire to devour your hot body with my hands and teeth, I believe we can safely assume that I'm not a zombie."

"I thought zombies only ate brains," Penny stated.

"That is a common misconception," Amy began.

"Oh, please," Bernadette interrupted. "Can we stop talking about zombies?"

"Wow," Penny interjected. "You're usually so…so…"

"So what, Penny?"

"Shy, I guess," Penny returned. "What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know, maybe the fact that I can't _walk_ anymore!" she ended her exclamation by raising her little voice in a way that resembled Howard Wolowitz's mother in a disturbing way.

"I'm sorry, I really am," Penny replied. "I don't know how this happened, and, believe me, if I knew what to do..."

"It seems we are all in a very difficult situation," Amy said.

"Okay, Amy," Penny replied. "We're not going to get anywhere by stating the obvious. What we need to do right now is get dressed."

Bernadette hi-cupped, and the other two turned toward her.

"I'll need a little help," she stated sadly.

* * *

Minutes later, Bernadette was strewn out on the horribly pink bed while Amy was trying on the dark blue outfit that was in the wardrobe on the plain side of the room, where she had woken up.

"I think the former inhabitant of this wardrobe," Amy stated. "Was both freakishly tall and morbidly thin." She was clad in a blue dress whose skirt was a tad too long, and the jacket was also too tight to seal.

Bernadette said nothing. She felt useless and horribly feeble without the use of her legs. Getting dressed was a good idea, but she would have to wait until at least one of them were dressed to acquire clothes for her.

"Are you finished in there?" Amy asked towards the bathroom door.

"Yeah, sure." came Penny's voice. Moments later she emerged, wearing a sleeve-less white shirt and a knee-length white skirt.

"I'll say this thing," Penny stated. "Whoever had this room has some _fabulous_ shoes!"

Bernadette cleared her throat. "Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you two, but some of us would really love to wear something other than a night-gown!"

"Where did you wake up, Bernadette?" Amy asked. "Based on where we awoke, we might find clothing that would be a close match in the room shared by you and Madam Morrible."

"Uh," Bernadette began, wracking her brains for some kind of reminder. "I remember it was on the ground floor, she had to carry my chair up two flights of stairs."

"Perhaps if we asked someone where Madam Morrible's bedroom is," Amy stated. "We might be able to find your doppelganger's clothes."

"'Doppler-what?" Penny asked, her face twisting in confusion, typically when speaking with Sheldon.

"A doppelganger," Amy stated. "A double of a living person." Just then, the sounds of people chatting outside their door could be heard. "Perfect timing! I'll go ask them where Madam Morrible's bedroom is located." She walked over to the door, opened it up and proceeded to address a trio of young women in student uniforms who happened to be passing by their door. Before she could say more than three words to them, one of them shrieked, another looked as if she were crying, and the other averted her eyes and led her two friends as far away from the door as possible. Amy then returned to Penny and Bernadette.

"What was that about?" Penny asked.

"I'm not sure," Amy stated. "Although, I do believe it might have something to do with the fact that my skin is green."

"Okay, then let me do it," Penny said, and proceeded to walk towards the door.

"Excuse me?" Bernadette interjected. "Yeah, I'm still here, sorry to rain on your parade."

"Bernadette, I'm sorry," Penny replied. "I didn't mean to ignore you..."

"It's because I'm just laying here, isn't it?" she moped.

"Come on, tell me what's bothering you."

"I was just wondering," Bernadette said. "You might be able to kill two birds with one stone."

"I don't see any stones around here," Amy stated.

"No, I mean if one of you goes looking for Madam Morrible's bedroom, and another one of you tried to find out just where the hell we're at!"

"Good idea!" both Penny and Amy said at the same time.

* * *

About thirty minutes passed before Penny and Amy returned to the half-pink, half-drab apartment room, where the lonely Bernadette was still staring up at the ceiling on the pink bed. Amy had with her a blue-and-white striped blouse with white sleeves and a blue skirt, along with socks, light boots and a blue and white hair-band. Penny had a parchment rolled up and tied with a violet ribbon in one hand. Both of them seemed a little "displaced", although there was something a little different about Amy.

"Okay," Penny began, laying the parchment upon the pink bed and rolling it out for them all to see. "I happened to find these for free at the Student Bookstore. By the way, we need to go back there. They have the _best_ clothing selection you could possibly hope for!"

"Good to know," Amy said taciturnly. "Here are your clothes, Bernadette. You should know that it was not pleasant finding her office, where she also has her own apartment."

"Apart from having to ask people where _her_ bedroom is?" Penny asked, indicating to Madam Morrible.

"Yes, that," Amy said. "But I received some unfriendly glares and scathing remarks about my green skin while searching for Madam Morrible's office. The most lasting of said comments being one a young man said while passing from the outside of the building. Something about lettuce and my va..."

"Okay, we don't need to know that," Penny stated. "Here, just look at the map." She unfurled the parchment, removing a smaller parchment which she held to the side, then showed the other two girls the map.

"This doesn't look like Pasadena," Bernadette stated.

The map was of an object slightly oval-shaped. In the center there was a city with a green hue, entitled "City of Emeralds". Proceeding out from the city in the center, on an X-axis, were four countries with the most peculiar names: Gilikin, Munchkinland, Quadling and the Vinkus. Two portions of the corners, where Gilikin met the Vinkus and where it met Munchkinland, there were two smaller division, named Ugabu and the Glikkus. At the bottom left hand corner of the map was a compass, with the northern needle pointing towards Gilikin: the center of the compass was the letter Z snaked through an O.

"Okay, does any of this make sense to you?" Penny asked. "'Cuz I've checked the LA road maps, and they're nothing like this."

"I see no significant land-marks," Amy replied. "That coincide with those from Los Angeles." She then looked up at Penny. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, bestie?"

"If it involves you kissing me," Penny retorted. "Probably not."

"Amy? Penny?"

They turned to Bernadette, who was looking over the map more intently, a strange kind of certainty in her eyes.

"I have a feeling we're not in California anymore."

* * *

**(AN: And on that _Wizard of Oz_ reference, we end the chapter.)**

**(What do you think? Any ideas? Any suggestions? Sorry it's taken a while, but I've got a lot of other stories to work on. Hopefully I'll find enough inspiration to keep this one going.)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**(AN: I've had some marvelous ideas, having watched several episodes of _TBBT_ and thereby getting some solid inspiration. Unfortunately, I'm no physicist, so I can't elaborate on techno-babble [see _Star Trek: Conflict_], but I will try to depict the characters as accurately as possible regardless.)**

* * *

Moments later, three young women made their way out of the private suite in Crage Hall. They wore the school uniforms - one in all blue, another all white, and the third in a wondrous harmony of blue and white - and looked like they belonged. Only they did not belong here exactly.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Penny stated.

"Please, bestie," Amy said, as they made their way. "We have to keep up a low profile while we're here. If they discover that the people we've been switched with are missing, I guarantee something will go wrong."

"What makes you say that?" Bernadette asked.

"They were making fun of a green-skinned person," Amy stated dryly. "I'm pretty sure they wouldn't understand that we've been transmuted across time and space."

"Trans-what'ed?" Penny asked.

"Transmuted," Amy replied. "From my initial observations, not only are we in another place, which your map called Oz, but, judging by the amount of technology we've encountered, we're in a world with technology no greater than the early 20th century."

Penny didn't know how to respond to that, but just closed up and continued on their way out of the building.

"So, where exactly are we going?" she asked at last.

"I took the liberty," Amy stated. "Of examining some of the things in the desk on my side of the room. Apparently, my room-mate is a young woman named Elphaba Thropp. The name certainly sounds exotic enough."

"Enough about the names, where are we going?" Bernadette asked.

"From what I've gathered," Amy continued. "You, Bernadette, replaced her sister, Nessarose, who is disabled. According to Elphaba's day-planner, she and her sister share all of the same classes."

"Does that mean we're going to class?" Penny asked. "Which one?"

Amy pulled out of a book-bag the day-planner and scanned through it. "Ten o'clock, History with Dr. Dillamond." She looked again.

"What is it?" Penny asked.

"There appears to be a side-note, scribbled recently and in haste," Amy stated. "'Room-mate may need tutoring on the subject.'" She then turned to Penny. "Apparently, you are my room-mate."

"Okay, I realized that," Penny stated. "Where is the History building?" She reached into the white hand-bag she had taken and pulled out the smaller of the two maps. This one was of a town with the name of Shiz, wherein they were apparently located.

While they were busy, one of the students broke away from the crowd and started walking toward them. He was rather short, wearing a red cap on his head, and a blue uniform suit with white pin-stripes. It was when he got closer and they could see his nose and Ringo Starr hair-cut that they knew who it was.

"Howard?" Bernadette asked.

"Bernadette?" he looked at the tiny blond in the wheel-chair. "Oh my God, what happened to you? Are you okay?"

"I woke up in a strange bed," she began. "And I couldn't walk!" She began breaking down into tears.

"That's terrible!" he said. "Oh, Bernadette." The two embraced, Bernadette quietly sobbing into Howard's shoulder. It was just then that he noticed something.

"Penny?" he gasped, a smile on his face.

"Oh joy," she commented. "I'm stuck in a strange new world with Wolowitz."

"Hey," Howard interjected. "'Stuck' is hardly the word I would use. 'Stranded', maybe, but I have a plan for getting us back."

"You do?" Amy asked. "Surprising, considering your overall scientific ineptitude and lack of a doctorate."

"I'm an Engineer!" he replied annoyingly. "You don't need a doct..." Then jumped in fright as he saw that the person he was looking at was not Sheldon, but Amy. And she was green!

"You noticed, I see," she said.

"Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of," he replied. "She-Hulk was green, but that didn't stop her from being..." He then saw Penny standing there, arms crossed and staring him down.

"If you ever plan on having children," she said. "I would stop right where you are."

He hung his head a little.

"You're here too?" Bernadette asked.

"Yeah, surprise," he said. "Believe me, this was not my idea." He looked around. "If it were my idea, we'd be in the world of the Mystic Lords of Ka'a and you'd all be..." Once again, the dangerous glare from Penny, and he stopped short.

Suddenly, a tall male student wearing a blue uniform jacket and pants walked up behind Penny and kissed her on the lips. She screamed and pulled away.

"Somebody wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" the tall student asked with a smile on his face.

"Hoo!" Amy exclaimed randomly. Bernadette merely hung her head. Howard, on the other hand, turned to the tall student who approached.

"Excuse me," he said. "And just who are you?"

"Wow," he exclaimed. "All that book knowledge and you can't remember my name." He turned to Penny and laughed. "It's like I've always said, Boq, school won't learn you a thing that's worth anything."

"And just who are you," Amy said. "Who rule out higher education, and yet are present at this university?"

"Elphaba, right?" he asked. "Hey, listen, can you pass a message to your room-mate for me?"

"Why can't you?" Amy asked. "You couldn't get your lips off her a moment ago." Howard and Bernadette could both detect a hint of jealousy in Amy's voice as she spoke.

"My irresistabating charm must have stunned her," he said with a smile, looking at Penny. She seemed to be swaying slightly, unable to speak or do anything currently.

"So yeah, tonight at 8," he said to Amy. "Tell her it's a date. Later." He kissed Penny on the lips again, gave Howard a punch on the shoulder then walked off.

"Ow," Howard exclaimed, rubbing his shoulder.

"Are you alright, bestie?" Amy asked Penny, who was still stunned.

"OhmyGod, OhmyGod, OhmyGod," Penny said over and over. "He is so incredibly hot!" Her last words were screamed. Amy placed one finger in her ear, as though Penny's scream was painful.

"And he kissed me!" she exclaimed. "I mean, he just walked up to me and...and..." She seemed to be trying in vain to keep from exploding.

"I believe to be experiencing another uncomfortable onset of arousal," Amy stated. "Either that, or perhaps it's jealousy."

"Howard," Bernadette interjected, turning to her fiancee. "What are we going to do? You said you had a plan."

"I do," he said. "You're talking to the Master Engineer. As much as Sheldon finds comfort in belittling everyone else to make himself seem greater, I actually am worth something."

"So what are you getting at?" Amy asked.

"The thing is," Howard said. "I'll be trying to construct an inter-dimensional, and possibly time-traveling, device using early 20th century tools. Don't be surprised if it takes a while."

"So says the 'Master Engineer?'" Penny asked sarcastically.

"It took Scotty a while to get the Klingon Bird-of-Prey flight-ready in _Star Trek: The Voyage Home_, but he did it. I certainly can construct this, but it will definitely take a while. I suggest we all try to blend in around here until I've finished my work."

"And when can we expect that?" Penny asked. "Hopefully, not when we're all sixty!"

"Fine, fine, make your jokes," Howard replied. "I just won't let you return to Pasadena with me once it's completed."

"Howard, don't be like that," Bernadette retorted.

"Don't worry, honey, I'll take you," he assured her, then looked at Penny and the green-skinned Amy. "I'm still deciding about these two." He then heard the bell tolling.

"Come on, we'll be late for class."

* * *

**(AN: I wanted to tack on some more, but it didn't really feel right. Plus, I haven't done anything to this story in a while, and I don't want to keep you waiting. Don't worry, I'll try to get to work on it a.s.a.p.)**


	7. Chapter 7

**(AN: I got bored of, well, everything, and decided to add a new chapter. Here we see just how useless the other three nerds are without Howard [like in that one episode where he was depressed because of what Penny said and they couldn't fix M.O.N.T.E. because none of them had Howard's engineering skills].)**

* * *

Sheldon Lee Cooper was not insane (his mother had him tested). Some called him neurotic, but he preferred to be called logical and orderly: at the very least, habitual. The recent incident with these 'visitors' was a great breech of his routine. These 'Ozians' were traipsing through both his apartment and Penny's like cattle through the gate, disrupting his daily routine.

On top of this, the little blond woman who called herself Galinda was sick. He hated the thought of exposing himself to germs and bacteria, and had insisted that she remain in Penny's room. This kept the two other women in that room, which meant that Rajesh didn't need to be inebriated 24/7 while he and the two Munchkins (Leonard was rather short, after all) worked on some tediously half-brained idea doomed to failure.

_Dear _**LORD**_, when will they ever learn that they need me!_ Sheldon exclaimed as he carried the cup of tea away from his kitchen and made for the door. Out the door he went and across to the other side of the hall, and, as per habit...

Knock knock knock. "Guests?" Knock knock knock. "Guests?" Knock knock knock. "Guests?" The raven-haired woman opened the door.

"Yeah, what do you want?" she asked.

"I usually tend to avoid social interaction," Sheldon began. "However, as per the social convention, I have prepared a hot beverage for your sick friend. May I take this to her?"

"Sure, go ahead," she replied, stepping aside to allow him entrance. On Penny's couch, the other woman was laid out, leaving Sheldon to deduce that the only likely place for Galinda was in Penny's bedroom. _Oh, dear_ **LORD**, _how unsanitary!_ The door was closed as he approached it, and once again...

Knock knock knock. "Galinda?" Knock knock knock. "Galinda?" Knock knock knock. "Galinda?"

"C-Come in!" a nauseated voice replied on the other end. The door creaked open and Sheldon walked in, keeping a good distance between himself and the sneezing, stuffed-up little blond.

"I made you a hot beverage," Sheldon said.

"Thank you," she whined, as she took it from Sheldon's hands. As her little fingers wrapped around the cup, Sheldon made sure to retract his own fingers, for fear of catching her ailment.

"If you would like," he suggested. "I could sing you 'Soft Kitty.'"

"Oooh, it sounds so cute," Galinda smiled, after a sip of tea. "What is it?"

"It's a song my mother used to sing to me when I was sick," Sheldon replied.

"Sing it to me," Galinda asked, as she took another sip of tea. Sheldon reluctantly knelt down beside Penny's bed and began singing in his usual off-key version of his 'sick' song:

_Soft kitty, warm kitty_  
_Little ball of fur_  
_Happy kitty, sleepy kitty_  
_Purr, purr, purr_

Galinda smiled, and thanked Sheldon. He nodded, then made his way back out of the room, eager to sanitize his hand and make absolutely certain he wasn't carrying anything.

While he was on his way out of Penny's bedroom, he cast a glance at the invalid laying on Penny's couch. _She isn't sick_, he thought to himself. Without a second glance, he made his way out of the apartment, across the hall, then returned to the safety of his own apartment.

"Leonard, Raj," he said, as he walked in on them. Leonard was up, working on his marker board something that, though he hadn't taken a moment to scrutinize it, he, Sheldon, was certain was flawed and doomed to failure. Raj was examining his laptop while sitting on the couch, on the spot adjacent to his spot, with the one who called himself a 'Munchkin' in the spot nearest the door.

_Just as long as they're not in my spot._

"Yeah, Sheldon, what's up?" Leonard asked from his board.

"'What's up,'" Sheldon bemused. "That's an interesting question. Well, for one thing, there's the sky, the ever-depleting ozone layer, and any higher than that, and you're in the vacuum of space. And the phrase 'up' has no meaning in the vacuum of space, because 'up' and 'down' technically do not exist as we know them in space."

"Why do I even bother?" Leonard sighed in exasperation.

"Here's something that's up, my intelligence quotient, it's higher than yours!" Sheldon replied, with a smug smile, then belatedly added the usual quiet-voiced exclamation of "Bazinga."

"Sheldon, would you please leave us alone? We're working here."

"But I live here! And exactly what kind of incompetently-planned scheme are you and Raj, quote end-quote, 'working on?'"

"A telescope in San Diego picked up some rather strange activity last night," Raj spoke up from the laptop. "Leonard and I think it might be connected."

"Good one!" Sheldon replied, laughing in his usual, gasping cough.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, I assume you're opening with a joke?"

"Surprisingly, no, we're not."

"But surely you're joking!"

"I am not joking." Leonard said.

"And don't call him 'Shirley'." Raj interjected.

"But I didn't call him 'Shirley', I said 'Surely'," Sheldon stated, his inability to grasp simple humor once again evident as daylight. "And I still think your little hypothesis is a waste of time."

"Oh, really? And what answer does the great, condescending Dr. Sheldon Cooper have that we lowly humans do not?" Leonard asked, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

"First of all, my condescension is only natural when addressing a being of lower intelligence. Secondly, how is this search for 'strange activity' relevant in any way?"

"Actually," Raj interjected. "I'm thinking this might be a clue to why our visitors are here."

Sheldon rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. "Now now, Dr. Koothrappali, we haven't agreed that these even _are_ from this so-called 'land of Oz'. As far as I, the most intelligent of our group, am concerned, this story is nothing more than complete and total hokum."

"Uh, actually, we _are_ from Oz," Boq interjected.

"Silence!" Sheldon dismissed.

"Hey, let's hear what Raj has to say," Leonard interjected, taking his seat on the single-seat couch next to the sofa.

"I've got the image here on my laptop," Raj said. He then turned it around to show them. What they saw was a shot of the night-sky, with the time being roughly midnight the previous night. A bright light flashed four times quickly, then disappeared.

"It looks like a star flashing four times really fast," Leonard stated.

"Oh, dear **LORD**," Sheldon commented on the side.

"What, Sheldon?"

"Well, I know your intelligence is highly limited, but surely even you know that a star flashing is indicative of a supernova. Stars usually don't go supernova four times that quickly, so this is obviously a fabrication."

"No, it's not," Raj stated. "I got this from the observatory website."

"So? How is this important?" Leonard asked.

"Look what happens when I slow the video down," Raj answered, then showed them as the slow video played. Instead of four quick flashes, four trails of white light appeared, striking down at different places to the north of the telescope. The trails buzzed to life very quickly, but were short-lived and faded.

"So? What do the pretty lights mean?"

"I'm not sure yet," Raj replied. "But, being an astrophysicist, I was able to use the location of the stars to pinpoint the coordinates where each of these flashes of light landed."

"So?" Leonard queried.

"Hold on, I'm sending them to your iPhones," Raj stated. Moments later, two chimes resounded from Sheldon and Leonard's iPhones. They popped them open and saw each of them had a text-message from Rajesh Koothrappali.

"Couldn't you just tell us the coordinates?" Sheldon asked.

"Use your iPhones to look up the coordinates, it's faster that way."

Moments later, they completed their search and reported.

"These coordinates," Leonard said. "Are to our apartment."

"Interesting," Sheldon stated. "The ones I was given lead to Amy's apartment."

"Holy crap!" Raj exclaimed.

"What?" both Leonard and Sheldon queried as one.

"The third coordinates are to Howard's mother's house! That's where he and Bernadette were staying the last time we saw them."

"This is foolish," Sheldon sighed.

"Why?" Leonard asked.

"Yeah, why?" Raj added. "Why are all of your ideas always gold but all of our ideas always crap?"

"That's because I'm smarter," Sheldon smiled. "And I'm never wrong. As for the first question, Raj, you said that there were _four_ flashes of light last night."

"Yeah."

"And how many coordinates did these 'flashes of light' land at last night?"

"Three." Raj stated, as if he were going around the mulberry bush again with Sheldon. "I looked up one, you looked up the other two."

"Then I restate my earlier theorem," Sheldon replied. "This so-called occurrence is nothing more than a poorly photo-shopped image of the night-sky, created to fool the ignorant."

"Hey! We're not ignorant!" Raj interjected.

"The only natural occurrence that this 'anomaly' could have been is lightning," Sheldon stated. "And, as even Leonard or Howard would know, lightning never strikes the same place twice."

"So? That only means this isn't lightning," Raj replied.

"Good **LORD**, it's like talking to Penny with you people!" Sheldon exclaimed.

"Look, we really don't need the condescension right now," Leonard interjected. "Why don't you go do something? Like go to work?"

"But how can I work," Sheldon asked, practically aghast. "Knowing that my apartment, my safe zone, my living place, my domicile, is being inhabited by bat-crazy people from Australia, one of whom is sick and spewing out millions of bacterium even as we speak?"

"Then why don't you do something else?"

"Like what? Amy is absent, I have been unable to communicate with her, and I can't go outside, unless its to go to work, in which case, you, Leonard, would have to drive me."

"Then go to your room and read your comics," Leonard sighed exasperatedly. "Or play World of Warcraft, or Age of Conan, or something. Just get out of our hair."

"But I'm not in your hair! And why would I want to go to such a tangled, filthy place?"

"Hey, I take showers too, you know."

"Could have fooled me."

"Sheldon!"

"Alright, I'm going." Sheldon acquiesced. With arms dangling at his sides, he walked back to his room without another word. Suddenly, he appeared from out of his room, a gas-mask over his face.

"Sheldon," Leonard stated firmly. "If you don't go to your room, I'm going to call your mother and tell her you're not being nice to guests."

With one last sigh, Sheldon walked back into his room, closed the door behind him and removed his mask in the relative safety of his room.

_In a parallel universe_, he began. _This is all some kind of strange, morbid fairy tale, thought up by some prepubescent girl with deviant fantasies, perhaps posted as some work of poorly-thought-out and ignored on some fan-fiction site.__ Of course, the parallel Sheldon Cooper would be rather annoyed with said author for the tediousness of this ridiculous story._

Sheldon then laughed his short, gasping laugh at his own musings, while he prepared to spend his time with a text-based game from the early 90s.

* * *

**(AN: Sort of pointless, but Raj's discovery is actually _very_ important to the progression of the plot, so I had to put it there. Of course, Sheldon is way off: our guests are from Oz, not "Aus", and it is a twenty-something, put together male who's in charge of this story. It is getting tedious, but that's just because rl is knocking. Oh well, hopefully I'll get another chapter out soon.)**


	8. Chapter 8

**(AN: New chapter, new chapter! I had some funny ideas for this story, and I'm definitely going to explore them.)**

**(For now, we meet our students at the bookstore's uniform department. This actually is canon, as per _The Grimmerie_ [not the actual spellbook or the series I wrote entitled "The Grimmerie"].)**

* * *

The student's bookstore at Shiz University had pretty much anything a student could need or want. There was, of course, the bookstore, for all those who needed textbooks for their classes, as well as various and sundry school implements, such as paper and quill, or even the new ball-ink pens, all the rage in the big cities of Gilikin and especially the Emerald City. Most students, however, frequented this place for the uniforms. The bookstore had various types of school uniforms which could be mixed and matched with other pieces in their catalogue, and most students usually spent at least thirty minutes in there, trying on different uniform combinations.

It was, of course, the last place anyone expected to see the green-skinned outcast: she was usually in the library, pouring over old tomes about History, Government and Animal Biology. But this was not the green-skinned girl they knew. She, and the others who crowded about her, were not even who the other students believed them to be.

"This is not going to work," Amy said, as she looked at the uniforms.

"Why not?" Bernadette asked.

"I'm green, I clash with everything." Amy replied.

"Just get something in dark colors," Bernadette sighed.

Howard, meanwhile, was pushing Bernadette in the wheel-chair, while the three of them sought out clothes that would be fitting. This they needed, for the ones of the former occupants of their rooms were not their sizes. But perhaps the oddest thing about their little group was not Amy's green skin, Bernadette's inexplicable inability to walk, or even that Howard was shopping for clothes with three women.

The queerest thing was that their fourth member, Penny, had spent most of their time reading something that was not a fashion magazine.

"Find anything new, bestie?" Amy asked, peeping over to see what Penny was doing. The blond returned her no answer.

"Penny?" both Howard and Bernadette asked at the same time.

"Hmm?" she asked, her face still buried in what she was examining.

"What could possibly be so fascinating?" Amy asked.

"This map," Penny said. She showed them the map that she was reading. It was not the map of Shiz she had purchased the day before; this one was labeled "Map of Oz."

"What's so important about a map?" Howard asked.

"It's funny, though," she replied. "I mean, not funny 'ha ha', or 'funny sheesh', but a different kind of funny. And, please, Amy, don't criticize."

"Well, that depends. Just how outrageously impossible is this funny thought of yours?"

"Well, there's this legend in Omaha," she began. "I remember visiting this old haunted house in the city, and heard all about it. Apparently, some crazy old man disappeared a hundred years ago, but they said he came back and left something hidden in his house. Of course, the authorities sealed off the house, called it a town landmark and only let tourists in, but I remember seeing a page from his diary, which was one of the things he left behind."

"He? He who?"

"Pinhead Diggs," she replied. "Oh, come on, don't tell me you've never heard of Pinhead Diggs!"

"Sounds like something my high school bullies would call me," Howard mused. "Except it would be Kosher Pinhead."

"Anywho," Penny soldiered on. "The legend goes that L. Frank Baum used the story of his life as inspiration for _The Wonderful Wizard of_..." She trailed off as she noted their blank stares.

"_The Wizard of Oz_!" she stated. "Don't tell me you've never heard of _The Wizard of Oz_!"

"I don't believe in fantasy stories, bestie." Amy dryly stated.

"I wasn't allowed to watch the movie," Bernadette added. "My folks said it portrayed witchcraft in a positive light."

"Raj tried to take me to see _Wicked_, if that's any help," Howard stated. "I didn't go, had other things to do."

"Like not getting a doctorate?" Amy asked.

"I have a Master's degree!" Howard exclaimed angrily.

"Oh, my god!" Penny exclaimed in exasperated shock. "I expected this from Sheldon, probably Leonard, but you too?"

"What can I say?" Amy asked. "While you watched cheap children's fantasy films, we engaged our mental capacities." She then stared at Penny inappropriately. "Seems to have worked out for you."

"Okay, whatever," Penny sighed. "Look, the point is, this is big! This means that maybe Pinhead Diggs wasn't as crazy as people said. Maybe we are actually in Oz."

"So what do we do, then, follow the Yellow Brick Road?" Howard asked.

"Actually, we just might need to," Penny said. "Look, I've got to run, uh..." She took a quick look around a hanger of clothes her size and picked out a white outfit, similar to the over-sized one she was wearing, and threw it at Howard. "Get this for me, I've gotta go." She took off, leaving the others flabbergasted.

"What the hell just happened?" Howard exclaimed. "I've never seen Penny this enthusiastic about research since...ever!"

"Maybe her encounters with your social circle have rubbed off some of your intellect onto her," Amy stated.

* * *

**(AN: For once, Penny knows something that is important to the development of the story that is unique to her being a Nebraskan, something that not even all-knowing "Sheldor" could possibly know.)**

**(Very short, but it's important, to a degree. Until the physical crossover is made, I'll alternate between Earth and Oz. Hopefully a new chapter will be presented, along with a new challenge to overcome.)  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**(AN: Several characters were going to appear in this story, having very important roles therein. I decided, however, to cut their roles, since their appearances didn't lend much else to the story except lol moments. Therefore, those characters have made cameos in this chapter, where they have some importance to the story content.)**

* * *

Leonard was walking up the stairs, his guests walking after him. They had gone shopping for Los Angeles clothes that fit them. The one called Elphaba was wearing black jeans and a white, long-sleeved shirt. Galinda, who was still under the weather slightly but feeling somewhat better, wore a jean mini-skirt and a white top with short, pink sleeves. Behind walked Boq, dressed in kaki pants and a white, pin-striped shirt, with Nessarose in his arms. She wore a white shirt with a lengthy blue skirt.

"You know," Galinda spoke up from the rear, her voice still nasal. "I think I kind of like this Los Angeles place. I mean, it might not be as good as they say the Emerald City is, but it's just as nice in its own way."

"No one was staring," Elphaba stated. "No one was pointing!"

"Are you kidding?" Leonard asked. "Of course people were staring and pointing at us."

"Maybe at _you_," Elphaba said. "You actually look like a dork."

"Yeah, you look so much like Bick," Galinda stated as they reached the landing, and had to make their way up another flight of stairs.

"It's Boq!" he shouted angrily. Suddenly there was a shout and everybody turned around. In his anger, Boq had opened his arms and dropped Nessarose against the side of the stairs. She was now leaning against the side of the stairwell, and all eyes were looking at her.

"Nessa!" Elphaba gasped. "Your legs!"

Nessarose was leaning against the side of the stairs, but she was also standing on her feet. Unevenly and with as much coordination as a baby just learning to walk, but she was still standing.

"I...Oh, sweet Oz!" she sobbed. "I can..." She took a step out, then pushed herself off the wall and started flailing her arms about as she was starting to fall. Elphaba grabbed her, holding her steady.

"I can walk!" she wept.

"But...but..." Elphaba said, turning to Leonard. "How is this possible?"

"Are you kidding?" he returned. "I don't even know how you got here."

Just then, from up the stairs, there appeared Raj, who looked at those around with curiosity.

"Is everyone okay?" he asked. "I heard someone shouting."

"Oh, you _can_ talk!" Galinda exclaimed. "You're so handsome, and your voice is so funny."

"Not as funny as you are, my beautiful, blond goddess," he replied, with a smile on his face. This made Galinda giggle ever so slightly.

"You're drunk, aren't you?" Leonard asked.

"What gave you that idea?" Raj replied with a question.

"Maybe the vodka bottle in your hand, or the fact that you're talking while women are present?"

"Well, I needed it," Raj said.

"Why?" Leonard asked.

"I've been working on a little project," he replied. "And I needed some help. One of my assistants is a woman. In fact, Leonard, it is a woman that you are personally familiar with."

"Wouldn't that be 'with whom you are personally familiar?'" Elphaba replied.

"Oh, there you are, Sheldon," Raj said, turning to Elphaba. "I didn't see you come in."

"I'm not Sheldon, little man," Elphaba replied.

"Really? You certainly act like a pompous, arrogant ass."

"Uh, it's not very smart to make Elphie angry." Galinda stated.

"Relax," Raj dismissed. "What's the worst she can do?"

"Oh, there are a _lot_ of things I could do to you, funny boy!"

Just then, someone came walking down the stairs, wondering where Raj had went. Leonard looked up at the new-comer, readjusted his glasses and tried to push down the lump that had just appeared in his throat.

The one at the top of the stairs was Leslie Winkle.

"Hello, Leonard." she greeted in her usual, monotonous voice.

"Hey, Leslie." he replied, a sheepishness in his voice.

"Who are your friends?" she asked.

"Boq," he greeted first, feeling left out. "Galinda," the blond said. "Nessarose Thropp," the auburn-haired girl, who until recently had been crippled, added. "Elphaba, not that anybody cares." the dark-haired one snapped.

"Boy, you sound like that dumb-ass Sheldon." Leslie stated.

"She reminds me of someone I met at a gothic club with Howard." For a brief moment, a look of sadness crossed Raj's face after he spoke. He then made his way back up the stairs. The Ozians looked at Leonard, who shrugged, then led them up the stairs. Elphaba kept her hand on Nessarose's shoulder.

"So why are you working with Leslie Winkle?" Leonard asked.

"Raj is testing his theory about the lightning flashes from last night," Leslie stated.

"But that still doesn't answer the question of why he needs an experimental physicist."

"Well, as it turns out," Leslie continued. "Howard is actually worth something, even without a doctorate. It's fascinating, really."

"Really?" Leonard asked.

"Mostly because it proves dumb-ass wrong. But that's aside the point. None of you know how to build the machine Raj is working on, so he enlisted our help."

"'Our?'" Leonard queried. "There's more of you?"

They were now on the floor that had Leonard and Sheldon's apartment on one end and Penny's apartment on the other. The elevator, which before had been closed and roped off with yellow police tape, was now open. From out of its open door appeared the one person Leonard never expected to be seen working with Raj.

"Hewo, Hofstadwuh." Barry Kripke greeted in his condescending tone.

"Barry?" Leonard asked Raj incredulously. "You got Barry Kripke to help you with...whatever it is your working on?"

"That's wight." Barry replied with a haughty smile.

"I was talking to Raj, Barry."

"What, aw you kidding?" Kripke queried. "Anything to make Shewdon wook stupid."

"Relax, Leonard," Raj began. "Remember those flashes of light we saw last night?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I went into Howard's mother's house and found some rather interesting residue," Raj said. "When I came back here and you weren't here, I went into Penny's apartment and found the same stuff. I took it to the Geology department: they said that it must have came with the lightning, as it was highly conductive. Even more, I had it carbon-dated: it's over a hundred years old."

"Okay, I'm with you so far."

"I thought that it seemed like a pretty strange coincidence that these lightning strikes struck at three specific points, our friends vanished, these guests appeared, and these bits of old soil appeared where they disappeared from. So I thought, maybe, our friends vanished into an alternate dimension some hundred years or so in the past."

"Okay, now you lost me. Where are you going with this?"

"A kind of time-dimensional transporter."

"Like the T.A.R.D.I.S.?" Leonard asked.

"Yes," Raj nodded. "And since I needed some help, I got Leslie and Kripke to help."

"Why?"

"Because I knew Sheldon would ridicule my idea as crap."

"Pwus," Kripke interjected. "If we succeed, we get to wub it in Shewdon's face."

Leslie snickered. "Dumb-ass."

Just then, the door of Leonard and Sheldon's apartment opened up and there stood the object of Leslie's derision.

"Hello, Leonard." Sheldon greeted.

"Speak of the devil," Leslie stated, then turned to Sheldon. "Hello, dumb-ass."

"Leslie," Sheldon sneered, glaring at her with a wicked eye.

"Hey, Shewdon." Kripke greeted condescendingly.

"Oh, look!" Sheldon suddenly exclaimed with a self-absorbed smirk on his face. "Barry, the 6th grade 'physicist', Leonard and the lunatic Australians."

"Getting sloppy there, dumb-ass." Leslie commented monotonously.

"And what ridiculous, hair-brained plan are you attempting?" Sheldon asked with the usual condescension.

"Time-dimensional transporter." Leonard stated.

Sheldon snickered. "I know you're drunk, Raj, but this is an intellectual low, even for you."

"I'm too happy to be brought down by you," Raj replied with a smile on his face. "Because I have the answer for our guests."

"Excuse me," Sheldon began, as if speaking to a child. "The 'answer' for our guests is to call every Australia-based insane asylum and ask if they lost four inmates."

"Okay, what's going on?" Galinda asked. It was then that Barry noticed the presence of Galinda and the other Ozians.

"Wow, who's the hot bwond?" he asked.

"You talk funny!" Galinda commented with a giggle.

"And a b*tch at that."

"_What_ did you just say?" Elphaba angrily said, standing between Galinda and Kripke.

"Okay, come on, let's all just calm down," Leonard stated, stepping between them before something bad happened. "Kripke, apologize to Galinda."

"Why? I meant evwee word."

"Why don't you say that again, you smug, lisping bastard!" Elphaba roared, lunging at Kripke. Both Leonard and Galinda wrapped their arms around Elphaba's arms to keep her from falling. Suddenly, there was a cry and a loud thump. While they had been busy, Nessa had stumbled and fell into the elevator.

"Careful!" Raj said, half-fearful and half-indifferent. "Don't hurt my instruments." He staggered into the elevator after her, with Leslie and Barry following them. Behind them, Elphaba clawed her way past them all to reach Nessarose. Further back, Galinda gave Boq a furtive glance, and he joined them in the elevator, to see if Nessarose was alright.

"How did you get the elevator up here?" Leonard asked, peeking his head into the elevator. Where usually there was just an empty shaft, there was an elevator sitting there. It was old, having sat at the bottom of the shaft, unused and still bearing the blast of what had ruined it in the first place.

"Got some friends to pull the elevator up to this level," Raj said.

"And what is all this machinery in here?" Sheldon asked with mild curiosity, peeking in along with Leonard.

"My project," Raj stated.

Suddenly, the elevator gave a lurch. All the occupants stumbled forward, and, out of supreme fear, Galinda jumped in and tried to bring Elphaba out.

"Isn't it a little dangerous?" Boq asked.

"Don't worry," Raj stated. "I've made sure that the transport will happen before any harm comes to the inhabitants."

"Pardon me, Dr. Brown, if I don't jump for joy," Sheldon smugly mocked. "But this plan is silly, flawed and ultimately doomed to failure."

"'Dr. Brown?'" Raj asked. "What is that, some racist remark about my skin color?"

"No, it's a reference to the mad scientist Dr. Emmett Brown from the science fiction film _Back to the Future_."

For a moment, the other occupants started leaving the elevator, off to Penny's apartment or, as with Leonard, to his and Sheldon's apartment. Barry left without saying so, leaving Raj and Leslie the last two working on the 'machinery.' The three Ozian girls, however, had not left yet.

"So," Elphaba asked. "What is this machine going to do once its complete?"

"Well, unlike Sheldon..." He gestured to the tall, lanky and closed-minded theorhetical physicist who had been the last one to enter his apartment. "I have been doing a little out-of-the-box thinking."

"Ooh, what does that mean?" Galinda asked.

"Simply this," Raj began. "You three say you're from Oz, and you've given me the names of Elphaba, Galinda and Nessarose." He gestured to each of them as he said their names. "Now, I've been doing a little research, and I've come to the conclusion that the place you belong is not only in space but also in time." He gestured to the elevator. "This machine, once completed, will attempt to send you back home."

"Okay, here's a question," Elphaba began. "What if we don't _want_ to go home?"

"What?"

"Yeah, what if we like it here?" Galinda mused.

"I can walk!" Nessarose exclaimed. "I've never been able to walk, and now I can walk. And you're asking me to give that up!"

"No, no, that's not what I meant..."

"Seriously, you're being very selfish, expecting us to give up our one chance at a new life, one free of all the hate and unfair treatment..." Her voice broke off as she was speaking, but she didn't break down into tears.

"Look, you don't have to convince me," Raj said. "Where I'm from, it's hot, poor and there's _so_ many people! Plus, I can't eat beef out there because, to us, cows are gods. I enjoy every moment I get to spend here in America."

"Good, so you understand what it's like," Elphaba stated. "Which is why you have to stop."

"Don't worry," he said. "I'll figure something out. In the meanwhile, enjoy Los Angeles."

The three of them walked off, leaving Raj and Leslie to continue working on their project. For the better part of a whole minute, they worked in silence, with Raj taking a small sip from his vodka bottle, a smile splitting his face as he did so.

"So, are you planning on shriveling up your liver or are you getting Barry back?" Leslie asked.

"What do you mean?" Raj said laughingly.

"Do you seriously intend to stay drunk while working with me on this machine?"

"I hadn't thought of that," he said at first. "But, now that you mention it, why not?"

* * *

**(AN: Lots of people, I saw, were following this and begging me for updates. Well, here is an update. Hopefully there will be more soon.)**

**(I know, in the finale episode of the last season, Raj was on medication for his social anxiety for the wedding, but this is before that, so he might not know about it, which is why he's working drunk. Sorry I couldn't capture more of silly drunk Raj. Next chapter I'll try to keep every one in character more.)**


	10. Chapter 10

**(AN: Uploading chapters...like a boss! Lol, some funny moments and one of your suggestions is going to be [somewhat] fulfilled. I also happen to use a _Star Trek_ gag in this story, so let me state that I don't own _Star Trek_.)  
**

* * *

Another day had passed at Shiz since Penny, Amy, Bernadette and Howard had appeared there at. After Penny's revelation at the book-store, she spent the better part of the next day, including her down-time, which was considerable for one attending university, thinking about her plan.

It was early afternoon, and the four of them sat on the bridge that overlooked Shiz's Suicide Canal. Howard and Bernadette were off to one side, staring uneasily at Penny. It was as though someone had swapped one of their brains with Penny's: she was writing in her notebook (pink and white, though it may be), pausing to think and making calculations on her fingers.

"Is that the same Penny we know?" Howard asked Bernadette.

"Sure looks like her," she glumly replied.

"I mean, seriously, she's starting to act like Sheldon. Maybe something's wrong."

"Oh, so you've realized something is wrong?" she returned, frustration in her voice.

"Hey, listen, I don't know why you can't walk," Howard retorted. "I can't help you. Even Amy is stumped, right Amy?"

"Hmm? I'm sorry, what was the question?" Amy Farrah Fowler had been busy staring at Penny, and turned aside to answer Howard's question.

"You don't know what's wrong with Bernadette's legs," Howard stated.

"Please, Howard, I'm a neurobiologist, not a doctor."

"Well, you do have a doctorate." Howard replied.

"Yes, but my doctorate doesn't cover physical ailments. If we were to remove Bernadette's brain and examine it, I might be able to discover if her paralysis is localized or not."

"I don't want you removing my brain!" Bernadette replied in her little, frightened voice.

"To make a long story short, Bernadette," Amy concluded. "I have absolutely no idea why you can't walk." She then turned back to Penny.

"Would you please stop doing that?" Penny asked.

"Stop doing what, exactly?"

"Stop staring at me. It's really annoying and super creepy."

"I'm sorry, bestie. I was merely waiting on you, hoping you might need some assistance."

"Yeah, well, I don't need assistance, especially from you."

"I'm sorry I have absolutely no faith in your ridiculous fantasy, bestie." Amy apologized quite unconvincingly.

"Come on, Amy." Bernadette spoke up. "What more proof do you need?"

"I fail to see how I have been provided with proof enough as it is."

"Okay, first of all, you're green," Howard stated. "Second of all, this place is insane. I mean, I've sat through some of these classes, and the stuff they teach, I mean, I've never heard of the stuff they teach here!"

"That's no surprise," Amy stated, with no humorous intent.

"You know, I never thought I'd be saying this," Penny interjected from her work. "But Howard's right."

"See? Even Penny believes me."

"Watch it, Wolowitz." she said, raising one eyebrow threateningly in his direction, as though she were a blond, female Spock.

"I'm sure there's a logical explanation for my skin color, and for our presence here."

"Like what?" Penny asked, crossing her arms as though she were speaking with Sheldon.

"Yes, Amy, like what?" Howard added.

"This could be an insane asylum," Amy stated. "Think about it: a large, underground compound, with realistic bio-dome, similar to the San Diego zoo, just for crazy people."

"I don't know," Bernadette mused. "That seems like an awful lot of money put into an asylum."

"The 19th century university atmosphere might be part of the rehabilitation program."

"What about your skin?" Penny asked.

"Yes, Amy, what about your skin?"

"Seriously, Howard, it's starting to get annoying, every time you keep repeating me."

"She's right, Howard." Amy stated.

"Yeah." Bernadette added.

"Alright, seriously, Amy, you're starting to act like Sheldon."

"Who's Amy?"

All eyes turned to the newcomer, who sat himself uncomfortably close to Penny: it was Fiyero. The look that crossed her face was partially annoyance and his lack of couth, and mild enjoyment of being so close to one so hot.

"Nobody!" Amy exclaimed louder than she had intended.

"Look," Fiyero said. "I know you think I'm stupid..."

"I don't think you're stupid," Penny replied.

"Seriously," Howard interjected. "You should have seen Zach, now _he_ was stupid."

"Who's that, Galinda?" Fiyero asked. "You never told me about him."

It was then that all four of the Los Angeles' friends looked at each other with awkward glances. They had just outed themselves in front of this young 'prince', as he called himself. Now they would either have to tell the truth or risk embarrassment at trying to, each of them, fabricate a convincing lie on the spot, keeping in mind that they might not come up with the same thing.

"Honey, there's something we need to tell you," Penny said, turning to Fiyero. "But you gotta promise not to tell anyone else."

"Alright," he said with a smile, relishing the thought of being let in on a secret. "So, what's up?"

"Uh, whoever you think we are, yeah? Alright, that's not it. I know that sounds silly, but I honestly don't know much else. I mean, one night we were all asleep in our respective beds and then the next thing we know, _pfft!_"

"_Pfft?_" Fiyero asked.

"_Pfft._" Amy dryly repeated.

"And what does _pfft_ mean, Galinda?"

"It doesn't mean anything," Penny continued. "Listen, we don't belong here. And I'm not Galinda." She added aside. "Though I kinda wish I was."

"Yeah, now I see it," Fiyero stated. "You're too tall to be her." He then looked at the others. "But what about you?"

"What about me?" Amy asked.

"Don't tell me you're not Elphaba," Fiyero dismissed. "There's nobody else in all of Oz that's got green skin."

"Well, I'm not from Oz," Amy stated. "Furthermore, Oz doesn't exist."

"It doesn't, huh? So, where are we now, then, if you're so smart?"

"I think somebody just got burned." Howard said with a laugh.

"You sure _sound_ like Boq," Fiyero said, pointing to Howard.

"Boq? What kind of a name is Boq? I'm Howard Wolowitz, Master Engineer."

"Sounds impressive."

"Not really," Amy said. "He hasn't got a doctorate."

"I have a master's degree from MIT," Howard sighed. "I don't need a doctorate."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Fiyero said. "But, you..." He pointed to Amy. "There's no way you're not Elphaba. You even sound like her. And you have glasses just like her."

"Elphaba isn't real." Amy stated.

"What are you talking about, of course she's real! She's a real nut-case, but, once you get past the artichoke..."

"Wait, what?"

Fiyero noticed that all eyes were now trained on him. He basked in attention, as per his usual self, but this was unwanted attention to a subject he had, out of his brainlessness, let slip from the hidden recesses of his oft-forgotten mind.

"Uh, I shouldn't have said that."

"Come on, out with it." Penny said. "We told you our secret, now you tell us yours."

"Uh, okay," Fiyero began sheepishly. "I, uh, don't usually talk about these sorts of things with people, but, uh..." He chuckled uneasily, scratching the back of his neck. "Uh, you know how, uh, in school, there's usually the prettiest girl and she has to date the most swankified boy?"

"Yeah." Penny nodded.

"Well, obviously, I'm the most swankified one on campus," he gestured to himself, letting off tension with a short, unconvincing laugh. "And Galinda is the prettiest girl. But, I don't know, her room-mate, Elphaba, that is, I mean...I don't know, I just...just..."

"You're in love with her room-mate?" Penny asked.

"I don't know," Fiyero dismissed. "I mean, there was a moment at the dance, the Ozdust Ball, where our eyes met. Wasn't much, but I...I don't know." He turned back to them. "You guys gotta promise me you won't breathe a word of this to anyone."

"Why not?" Bernadette inquired.

"Because..." He sighed. "I don't know..."

"Because I'm green," Amy stated. "And that would cause a negative impact on your social life."

"Yeah, I mean, with Elphaba."

"But we've already established that she's not real."

"You know," Fiyero said to Amy. "You talk a lot, but a lot of what you have to say is completely ridiculous."

"_I'm _ridiculous?" Amy replied. "I doubt you can even spell the word 'ridiculous.'"

"So what?" he said. "It's just life, have fun, let your hair down, that's what it's there for, you know."

"Is that your personal motto?"

"Sort of. If I had a motto, it would be something like that: 'it's just life, so keep dancing through.'"

"Sounds fun," Penny stated.

"Yeah, but I didn't get where I am today by just 'dancing through life,'" Howard replied. "And we won't get home that way either."

"You're too wound up, dude," Fiyero said, rising up and sitting down next to Howard. "Relax, have some fun."

"Yeah, I have fun, okay? But now's not the appropriate time for fun. I'm trying to figure out a way to get h..." His demeanor towards Fiyero suddenly changed.

"You know what? I think you can help me."

"He can?" Penny, Amy and Bernadette asked with one voice.

"I can?" Fiyero added.

"Yes!" Howard answered. "Look, I stay in the Ozma Towers, the boys' dormitory. I can't be sneaking you three in to help me, though I don't suppose you would have any skills that would be helpful."

"Gee, thanks a lot."

"So that leaves you as my assistant," Howard said to Fiyero. "What do you say?"

"I don't know, what are you building? And, why? I mean, who needs some crazy contraption anyhow?"

"That 'crazy contraption' is the only way of getting us back to where we belong!"

"Or your girlfriends." Penny stated. At this, Fiyero stood up, then nodded at Howard.

"Alright, I'll do it."

"Great! And, remember, keep this all on the down-low. In front of everyone else, we're still the people you know, right?"

"Sure thing, Boq." Fiyero then knelt down and kissed Penny on the cheek, which elicited a surprised "Oh!" from Penny. He then sauntered off in his usual, care-free mannerism.

"I know I'm alone here," Amy abruptly stated. "But I think you're all insane."

* * *

**(AN: That was fun to write.)**

**(Of course Amy wouldn't believe. a] she's the female Sheldon, b] various times, it has been postulated that Amy does not even read fantasy/fiction, therefore she wouldn't be familiar with _Wicked_, book or musical. Besides, she totally bombed on counter-factuals [Denmark is _not_ a low-lying country, therefore Copenhagen wouldn't be affected if humans built dams to please their beaver overlords. Also, the Netherlands, the _real_ low-lying country, wouldn't be affected either, since humans would be _building_dams, not tearing them down. Seriously, that answer made absolutely no sense] so it's quite possible that she can be wrong [then again, Sheldon is wrong as well, lol].)  
**

**(New chapter will come soon...hopefully)  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**(AN: One of my latest reviewers stated that it seemed improbable that the geniuses recognized the Ozian characters as not being the people they replaced, yet the Ozians were fooled by such. In response, rather than having a chapter set in LA, as I have been wont to do, I have another chapter in Oz, where we get to see that not all of the Ozians were fooled.)**

* * *

Another day in Oz had come and gone, and several others passed as well. Howard had very little success with his device, since he was working with technology he described as "turn of the century". Fiyero helped as much as he could, but his playful, carefree demeanor made him more of a bother than an actual help. The others, meanwhile, were busy laying low. They had more or less agreed that they would not make it public knowledge that they were from "out of town." Penny and Bernadette agreed with this, but Amy did so reluctantly: this was because she was still not convinced that Oz was real.

One afternoon, the young ladies were walking down the halls of the college. They drew stares, of course, but that was because of Amy's green skin. Or, of course, those who knew the one whose clothes Penny was wearing, who saw her with her nose stuck fast within the pages of a book as extremely odd.

"If you want my opinion, bestie," Amy said, turning to Penny. "This is completely absurd."

"Hmm?"

"This charade has gone on long enough," she said. "I would like to get ourselves back to Pasadena as soon as possible. We have jobs to get to, we can't be spending days in this insane asylum."

"Still not convinced, are you?"

"No, I am not convinced that we have jumped through time and space into another world," Amy restated. "Those things just don't happen, except in cheap science fiction."

"Hmm, isn't that strange." Penny stated absentmindedly.

"What's strange, bestie?"

"That you're the scientist and yet I'm the one who knows what's going on."

"Oh, so needy," Amy replied, with almost sympathetic condescension.

Just then, Penny came to a halt. Walking across the lawn several feet before them was Madam Morrible. From the look on her heavily-painted face, she could tell that she was looking for something or someone. Upon seeing them, the head-shiz-tress made her way towards them.

"There you are!" she said. "I have good news for you, Miss Fowler."

Penny stifled a gasp, which ended up sounding like a weak cough: Madam Morrible was looking directly at Amy, and she used her proper last name.

"You know how to get me out of this insane asylum?" Amy asked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Well, you know my name, which proves my theory," Amy stated. "Therefore, this must be some elaborate asylum for the insane and you're going to show us how to get out."

"No, I'm afraid not," Madam Morrible shook her head. "I had intended to give this to Miss Elphaba, but..." She gave the green-skinned Amy a scathing glance, then finished with: "...things have changed. So here, take it." She presented Amy with a green envelope, which she opened up and removed the contents.

"A train ticket to the Emerald City?" Amy asked, as though it were an utterly ridiculous notion, or part of a joke whose punch-line she did not understand.

"Yes, I told the Wizard and he insisted that the date of your arrival be moved up immediately," Madam Morrible stated. "You'll find the date and time of your departure on the tickets, Miss Fowler. Ozspeed." With that, she walked away and gave the others no notice.

Immediately, Penny turned her gaze to Bernadette, who sheepishly shook her head. Then she turned to Amy, who turned back with a blank expression on her face.

"What?"

"She called you 'Miss _Fowler_'," Penny stated, a suspicious look in her blue eyes. "Not 'Miss Elphaba', 'Miss Fowler.'"

"Yes," Amy nodded slightly. "That's my name, isn't it?"

"But how does she know?"

"It's like I said," Amy stated triumphantly. "We're in some sort of insane asylum. Perhaps we'll soon find our way out of it."

"Oh my God, will you get off the asylum?"

"I see no reason," Amy retorted. "To think that we have somehow jumped through time and space into some fairy-tale world called Oz is completely absurd. Next you'll be telling me that Wolowitz is a genius, or that there actually is a..."

"Oh my God," Penny suddenly interrupted.

"What now, bestie?"

"What's going to happen once we're found out?"

* * *

From the defunct elevator shaft in which he was working, Raj could hear from the bottom of the stairs the sounds of someone groaning. It was a woman's voice, high-pitched and somewhat girly: it could only belong to Galinda. In response, several of the other tenants of the apartment started shouting at her to quiet down, to which the sharp, angry voice of her friend and room-mate Elphaba came snarling back at them. Raj reached over to the six-pack he had purchased, lying on the floor of the elevator.

"I sinceriously think you could have handled that better, Elphie," the blond said.

"No one calls you a whiny b*tch and gets away with it," Elphaba angrily retorted.

"But _you_ didn't have to say that about her mother," Nessarose added.

"Oh, hi, Rajie," Galinda said, poking her head into the elevator shaft.

"Hello," he replied, swaying slightly.

"You're still working on that?" Elphaba asked, joining Galinda in peeking into the elevator.

"Not anymore," Raj shook his head.

"Well, not that I want you to continue," Elphaba replied. "But why not?"

"It's just not working," Raj exclaimed. "I've put so much time and effort, but the..." He sighed, his arms falling to his sides. "It's just not possible. Oh, if only I had Howard with me."

Galinda giggled. "You sound funny when you talk."

"Has anyone ever told you that you've got a very nice caboose?" Raj replied, which caused Galinda to crane her neck, trying to look at her rear. Elphaba then punched Raj in the arm.

"Ow!" he exclaimed.

"Watch it," she stated.

"Elphaba, you can't be starting fights wherever you go," Nessarose interjected. "If we're going to stay here for a while, we should try to blend in."

"Well, _this_ one sure is blended." They then made their way toward the apartment of Leonard and Sheldon.

"Oh, wait just a tick tock," Galinda stated. "I think I lost one of my bags here."

"Really?" Raj asked. "You can tell from so many?"

"Come on, ass," Elphaba stated, dragging him away by the arm.

When they arrived in the room, they found Boq pacing nervously behind the main sofa. On the sofa, on the seat closest to the window, was Sheldon, looking thoroughly irked. Leonard was at his laptop.

"Back from your shopping spree?" Leonard asked the ladies as they entered.

"We had to cut it short," Elphaba said. "Galinda wanted to buy up the entire stores, but we had to drag her away. Oh, and thank you for the map to LA."

"Glad to be of service," Leonard stated, keeping his eyes on the screen.

"Boq, why are you pacing?" Nessarose asked.

"How can you ladies be so calm?" he whined. "We should be in Oz. We're getting so behind on all our homework and..." He suddenly noticed only two. "Where's Galinda?"

"She's looking for one of her bags," Raj said, gesturing towards the hallway.

Suddenly, there was a scream coming from the hallway. In a sudden mad dash, Elphaba, Boq, Raj and Leonard ran one after the other out the door and down the hallway to the elevator.

"Are you alright?" Elphaba and Leonard asked as one.

"What happened?" Raj added.

"The elevator-thingy lurched when I walked in," Galinda said fearfully.

"But why were you in the elevator to begin with?" Raj asked, anger rising in his voice.

"My bag was in there," she replied.

"Come on out of there," Leonard said. "Before you hurt yourself." Slowly Galinda got up to her feet, while behind them approached the two others who had been quite ignored by Galinda's cry of fear.

"Do you see now, Dr. Koothrapali?" Sheldon asked from behind, arms crossed and his voice dripping with condescension. "The folly of your ill-conceived and highly-illogical 'plan?'"

"Look, just because I haven't figured out all the problems, doesn't mean my plan's gone down the pottie!"

"And may I remind you that no scientific breakthroughs were discovered while intoxicated?" Sheldon retorted.

Meanwhile, Galinda was back on her feet, and Elphaba and Leonard were holding their arms out to help her on her way back out. She took a step forward, but the sound of creaking metal brought her to a whimpering halt. The two then reached out a bit farther. Just then, several things happened. Galinda's tiny hand grasped Leonard's hand, while behind them, Raj ran forward, exclaiming: "Don't mess with my equipment!" His sudden movement pushed both Leonard and Elphaba into the elevator, which gave a rather violet lurch downward.

"Oh no!" Raj exclaimed.

"This would be a good time for me to say 'I told you so'," Sheldon stated. "But, given the circumstances, it would be inapropriate."

"Sheldon, can you call 9-11?" Leonard asked.

"Interesting question," Sheldon mused aloud. "I am fully capable of calling 9-11, but I believe the question you _should_ be asking is _may_ I call the police?"

"Sheldon!"

"Leonard, please, try to find, somewhere in that miniscule brain of yours the ability to use proper English."

Leonard sighed in frustration. "_May_ you call the police...please?"

"Yes, I _may_."

"_Will_ you?"

"I don't want to," Sheldon said. "This is a breech of routine."

"So you're going to let them die because it's not your routine?" Nessarose asked.

"I didn't say I was going to let them die," Sheldon replied. "Although, if I were the only genius in the building, that would mean I wouldn't have to carry Leonard's intellectual dead weight. Fascinating."

"Galinda, I'm coming!" exclaimed Boq, who was now attempting to reach into the elevator.

"Boq, wait!"

The other two jumped in and the elevator lurched again, causing them all to exclaim in fear.

"Someone should just call the police before something happens!" Leonard exclaimed.

"Alright, who has a cellphone?" Raj asked.

"I do," Leonard said, reaching into the pocket of his hoodie. "Oh, but the battery's dead."

"If you would have charged it when I told you," Sheldon stated smugly. "This wouldn't have happened."

"Oh, for God's sake, it was so big that I wasted a whole bar just trying to open and read the damn thing!"

"Please stop yelling!" Galinda exclaimed.

"I'm sorry," Leonard said. "Look, Sheldon, you're just going to have to call the police for us."

"But I don't want to!"

"Then charge my cellphone and bring it back here so I can call them!"

"But I don't want to do that either."

"Why not?"

"Why not? Oh, dear **LORD**!"

"You're right, I should have known better than to ask."

"First of all, I would have to be touching something which you not only touch but press against your face on a daily basis. I don't know about you, but I might as well jump in front of a bus."

"And the second reason?"

"I really don't want to."

"Then I'll do it," Raj exclaimed.

"No, don't come in here!"

"That's rather brave of you, Koothrapali." Sheldon stated.

"I don't want my equipment damaged," Raj said, before stepping into the elevator. As soon as the extra weight was added, it shifted again.

"Well, it seems that I'm not needed here anymore," Sheldon said, crossing his arms. "I'll be in our apartment. Or, as it will soon be, _my_ apartment."

"Sheldon, you can't walk out on us!" Leonard exclaimed.

"Watch me!"

"Who's going to drive you to work?" Leonard asked.

"I'll just ride the bus."

"You hate riding the bus."

"One must make sacrifices for the greater good of humanity." Sheldon smugly stated.

"Sheldon!" more than one voice shouted from within the elevator.

"Alright, alright," Sheldon said. "How did I ever get to be so soft-hearted?" He then turned back to the elevator. "Toss your phone out here and I'll charge it up for you."

"I can't toss it out there, it'll break."

"Oh, well that does seem to be a problem, good luck with that." He began to walk away.

"Sheldon, stop," Leonard exclaimed. "Just reach in and grab it."

"Grab it as in, grab it off the floor?"

"Uh, I don't know, I guess."

"You guess? You mean you haven't thought this plan through? Oh, dear **LORD**, it's doomed to failure. Goodbye!" He threw up his hands and walked once more towards the apartment.

"Sheldon!" everyone shouted.

With a weary sigh of resignation, Sheldon reached in with his hand to touch the phone. Unfortunately, he was grabbing it directly out of Leonard's hand, rather than off the floor as he had originally thought. Taken back by this sudden and unwanted contact with human flesh, he screamed like a little girl and flailed his arms about, sending Leonard's cellphone soaring through the air and onto the floor of the hallway.

"Sheldon!" Leonard sighed.

"You know I hate touching!" Sheldon exclaimed. "Now I have to go and sanitize my ha..."

But before he could leave, his foot touched the phone that had fallen on the floor, he tripped and fell backwards into the elevator. The sudden addition of weight made the elevator shift again, lurching downward even more than before. Out of fear of what might happen if Sheldon were allowed to remain there, sprawled out like a praying mantis in the doorway of the elevator, Leonard pulled him into the elevator car.

Neither, however, was that much of a wise choice. With so much weight, the elevator lurched again.

"Oh dear **LORD**, Leonard!" exclaimed Sheldon. "Why didn't you push me _out_ of the elevator?"

"I guess I just reacted."

"Well, your 'reaction' is going kill us a..."

Everyone suddenly gave a cry when the elevator's cables finally snapped and they started to fall. Raj grabbed the sides of the elevator, while Galinda, Nessarose and Boq more or less held hands. Leonard turned to Elphaba, but saw that she didn't seem to be panicking: her eyes had slid into the back of her head, and her lips were moving, soundless among so many voices lifted up in panic.

"Save me, Jesus!" exclaimed Sheldon. "Save me and I'll think about reconsidering Your existence!"

Suddenly, there was a flash of violet and green, then all went dark.

* * *

**(AN: -sigh- On Sundays, I have to divide my laptop time evenly between this, my music, my homework and any leisure time, so obviously, it's going to take a while. But I thought, since you've all been such dolls with the reviewing, I'd give you this blessing of a new chapter.)**

**(This situation was silly and probably impractical, but I needed all of our characters to end up in the elevator for what will happen to happen [hint: if you read _Out of Oz_, you can guess].)  
**

**(I'll try to come up with something for the next chapter as soon as possible.)  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**(AN: So many people following this story and it's been without an update for so long! Well, thank you for waiting and here's an update)**

**(New _TBBT_ season came out, and my approval rating for Sheldon has dropped due to his crass treatment of Amy, as it has for Penny and her crass treatment of Leonard. [I empathize greatly with Leonard because many of the things he did seem like things I would have done in the same situation, which is why I can't stand you Leonard-bashers and Shenny shippers. You're as good as saying that I'm shit and should stay forever alone].)  
**

* * *

With eyes blinking, Leonard found himself in a world that was wholly blurry and opaque. Reaching out with his right hand, he found his glasses just a few inches in front of him. He placed them on his eyes and saw that the elevator had come to a halt and they were all alive. He gave a cry and squirmed as fast as he could to the farthest end of the elevator.

There was something green inside with them.

"Where are we?" Galinda sighed.

"I don't know," Leonard replied. "Here, let me get up and I'll check."

He pulled himself up to his feet, accidentally knocking someone over who cried out in pain. He quickly apologized, then came to the door, which was open ajar. With glasses on, he looked blinking out into the light of the sun, yet he knew that there was no sun at the bottom floor of the lobby.

"Uh, Sheldon?" he looked back at his roommate.

"Yes, Leonard?" the taller theoretical physicist replied.

"I have a feeling we're not in California anymore." Leonard stated.

"Oh, that's just stupid," Sheldon condescendingly replied. "Next you'll likely say something completely stupid, that we're over the rainbow."

"Oh, speaking of which," Leonard replied. "We're still alive."

"Yes, and?"

"And you said that you'd reconsider the existence of God if He saved your life."

"But there's no proof that He did save us," Sheldon replied.

"You're impossible!"

"And yet I exist, therefore it must be that I _am_ possible."

"Where are we?" Raj asked.

"Not in the building," Leonard replied.

"But that's impossible," Sheldon retorted. "The elevator only goes up and down. If you're trying to insinuate that we've somehow crossed over into an alternate dimension, you really are stupider than I had originally postulated."

"Be sarcastic all you want, Sheldon," Leonard said. "We're not in the building."

"Oh, please, Leonard, this is a new low, even for you. I mean, this is something Howard would believe."

"Oh Shiz!" Elphaba explicated.

"Sweet Oz!" squealed Galinda.

"What?" Sheldon looked out the open elevator doors, and suddenly came to an abrupt halt. Just outside was a field of violet-green grass that expanded as far as the eye could see. A little farther, just at the edge of the horizon, was a tall building with many spires and domed structures.

"We're in the Lowlands of Gilikin!" squealed Galinda. "There's Shiz right over there!"

"But that means..." Elphaba sighed. "We're back in Oz."

"And you said that there was no such thing as Oz," Leonard said to Sheldon with a smirk.

"No I didn't," he shook his head.

"Yes, you did," Leonard replied. "You said it was an Australian insane asylum, and yet there it is."

"So what?"

"So that means you were wrong."

"Oh, grow up, will you?"

"Why won't you just admit you were wrong?"

"Because I'm not!" exclaimed Sheldon. "I mean, this could be just some sort of a hallucination. We could all be in a coma at the bottom of our elevator shaft, slipping slowly into the icy cold hands of death at this very moment."

"And I'm going to die alone and unloved!" bewailed Raj.

"Oh, don't say that, Rajie-poops," Galinda said. "You're not alone, you're with us."

"Rajie-poops?" Leonard asked.

"Oh, come on, now you're just being childish." Sheldon exclaimed. "Is anyone here going to act like an adult, fully grounded in science for once?"

"This could be a dream," Raj said. "All we'd have to do is pinch ourselves to wake up."

"Let me test that," Elphaba said, slapping Sheldon across the face.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, with a shocked look on his face. "You slapped me!"

"You're being annoying and unhelpful." Elphaba stated.

"You _slapped_ me!" Sheldon repeated.

"He doesn't like being touched," Leonard commented.

"Leonard, the mean green hitting machine slapped me!" exclaimed Sheldon. "Make it stop!"

"Elphaba, would you please stop hitting him?"

"I only hit him once," she returned.

"Once is enough, believe me," he replied.

"So what happens now?" Raj asked.

"Well," Elphaba spoke up. "We woke up in your apartment, so if my guess is correct, your friends should be somewhere in Shiz."

"Excuse me!" exclaimed Sheldon. "Language!"

"Shiz is a town in Lower Gilikin, dork!" Elphaba retorted.

"Hey, that's not very nice, Elphie," Galinda stated. "You don't like it when people are mean to you, so why be mean to him?"

"He deserved it," Elphaba retorted. "Besides, I don't have to conform to whatever ideals of goodness you make for me."

"Brava!" Sheldon exclaimed. "However, as I have just guessed, some ill-conceived attempt to rescue our friends from this world and send us all back home is doubtless to be proposed. I would like to state here and now that that plan is improbable."

"Do tell, Doctor Raincloud," Leonard sarcastically asked.

"I'm not a raincloud!" Sheldon retorted. "I have no qualities of a cumulonimbus cloud ready to explode in torrential rain."

"Why is our plan improbably, Sheldon?"

"Because we have no way of going back to Pasadena," Sheldon stated.

This had not occurred to them until just now.

"Dude, we came here in an elevator," Raj spoke up. "I think we're alright."

"Oh, dear **LORD**, we're doomed!" Sheldon stated.

* * *

**(AN: Hope my readers didn't run away on me as I was struggling to find inspiration.)**

**(New season started and [you'll probably rejoice at this] Raj/Amy was begun. I fear where this is going, because the writers might actually do this. Amy and Sheldon aren't going anywhere, so Penny's gonna break up with Leonard AGAIN, get with Sheldon, Amy with Raj and Leonard's going to try and fail with Sheldon's assistant and all you sadistic fans who want to see Leonard forever alone will get your wish and I'll lose faith in humanity once again!)  
**

**(Sorry for the rant, I'm just very passionate about my ship of Leonard and Penny. But apart from that, how's the story going? Silly enough? Don't worry, I'll try to finish it in due time. PLEASE review!)  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**(AN: Wow, it took so long to get that last update out, here's hoping a new one will take less time.)**

* * *

"All aboard!" a voice announced in the train station.

At the train station in Shiz-town, Penny, Amy and Bernadette were preparing to board the train.

"Listen, when we get to the Emerald City," Penny began. "Let me do all the talking. Oh, and if there are any shops, we get to spend ten minutes in each one."

"We're not here to shop in fantasy malls that don't exist," Amy stated. "We're trying to find our way out of here."

"Still won't give up on that?"

"Neither are you, bestie," Amy retorted. "Might as well."

"I hope I can get on the train," Bernadette stated sorrowfully.

"Oh, we'll carry you," Penny suggested. "Right, Amy?"

"Oh, yes," Amy nodded, then said as an audible aside. "If only Penny had been the paraplegic, then I'd be carrying her everywhere!"

"Okay, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that," Penny said. "Because our train is going to leave without us unless we get on now."

Just then, someone came running through the crowds towards them. Penny turned about and saw, to her surprise and secret delight, Fiyero standing before them.

"Hey," he said. "Off to see the Wizard?"

"Yeah," Penny stated. "Oh, listen, if you see my friends, tell them where we went."

"How will I know what they look like?" he asked.

"Okay," Penny began. "There's this tall, thin, spidery-looking one, he'll probably be talking a lot. The other ones are a little shorter: there's a little brown-skinned boy who can't talk to girls unless he's drunk, but you're a guy so he shouldn't have any problem. The last one has glasses and always does this..." She craned her head up and squinted her eyes in an imitation of Leonard.

"Uh...okay," Fiyero nodded.

"Oh, the little one with glasses?" Penny asked. "Give him this from me." She reached up with both hands on the lapels of Fiyero's uniform jacket and kissed him on the lips. As they pulled away, Fiyero licked his lips, examining Penny's kiss.

"Do that again," he said. "I-I might not be able to remember it without a second helping!"

"Oh, you pig!" she replied, shaking her head.

"Uh, do you need any help before you go?"

"Actually, we just may," Bernadette spoke up, beaming from side to side. "I'll need to get into the train and I don't think they're handicap accessible."

"Do you need me to carry you?" Fiyero offered.

"Please?" she asked, giving him her best cute puppy-dog impersonation.

So it was that Fiyero and Howard helped Bernadette board the train, with Penny and Amy following on behind. Once the little blond microbiologist was safely on the train, Fiyero leaped off and waved good-bye as the locomotive kicked into gear. One by one they found their seats. With Howard and Penny's help, they lifted Bernadette and put her in the seats with her and placed the wheelchair folded above them.

"I wonder how long this train ride's gonna take," Penny mused aloud.

"I wonder how long you're going to continue believing this is some outrageous fantasy land," Amy retorted.

"Believe me," Penny said. "Once we get to the Emerald City, you'll see for yourself."

* * *

It was not a short distance from where their elevator had landed to Shiz University. They walked, but it was not very pleasant. None of them, save for Boq and the Ozian women, were any capable at running. But they made good time and it was still before noon when they arrived at the outskirts of the town. There, Sheldon deviated from the group and ran to a set of train-tracks that snaked off northward.

"Look, Leonard, train tracks!" Sheldon said with all the enthusiasm of a kid at Christmas.

"Yes? So?"

"Do you know what this means?" asked Sheldon.

"I know I'm gonna regret asking this later, but what?"

"That means there's a train here," Sheldon stated.

"What's wrong, are you afraid of trains?" Elphaba asked.

"Afraid of trains?" Sheldon laughed his gasping rasp of laughter. "_Au contraire_, green thing. I love trains. Trains are one of my favorite modes of transportation, other than shuttles and mind-controlled giant octopus. Because, let's face it, what's not more fun than riding on something with eight legs?"

"What's an octopus?" Galinda asked.

"You don't know what an octopus is?" asked Sheldon. The little blond shook her head, and Leonard rolled his eyes as he saw Sheldon crossing his arms, prepared to start explaining to the nth degree. "An octopus is a mollusk that lives in the ocean."

"The ocean?" Elphaba snorted, then broke into giggles.

"What's so funny about the ocean?"

"There is no ocean," Elphaba stated. "That kind of nonsense about oceans and other worlds is what the Unionists believe!"

"'There is no ocean?'" Sheldon retorted. "But didn't you see the big body of blue water to the west of Los Angeles that just wouldn't quit? That's the Pacific Ocean, it's in quite plain sight. And from your derogatory tone, I can assume that Unionists are some kind of religious poppy-cock, which surprises me that they'd even be preaching about oceans and other worlds. I thought it would be too much for their tiny, closed minds to comprehend."

"I saw the filthy smog of your city, nothing more," Elphaba retorted. "As much as you want to pretend that you're smarter than everyone else..."

"Pretend?" Sheldon retorted. "You dare question my intellect? Leonard, she dared to question my intellect!"

"Come on, guys, let's just drop it," Leonard begged. "Look, we're almost into this Shiz-town, or whatever you called it. We'll find Howard and the girls, put you ladies back where you belong..."

"And me!" Boq interjected.

"And you, Boq, and then we'll find a way to get ourselves back home and none of this will mean anything, alright? But in the meantime, can we please stop fighting?"

"I will if she admits she's wrong," Sheldon said, gesturing to Elphaba.

"I will if _you_ admit you're crazy," Elphaba retorted, crossing her arms at Sheldon.

"Oh, here we go again," Leonard sighed, rolling his eyes.

"I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested," Sheldon repeated.

"Where did she have you tested at, an insane asylum?" Elphaba retorted. "After all, the insane don't think they're insane."

Sheldon made one step toward her, then was suddenly blasted back by some blast of violet light. Leonard and Raj ran to his side, helping him up, but he looked at Elphaba with a wary eye.

"Leonard, please don't make me go through this with her!" he exclaimed. "She's a bully!"

"I'm so, so sorry!" Elphaba said, walking over to him.

"Get away from me!" Sheldon shouted, crawling away in a very realistic caricature of a spider.

"I don't know how it happened!" Elphaba exclaimed. "Honestly, I got mad and then..."

"Alright, alright, for God's sake, everyone just shut up!" Leonard exclaimed. "We haven't even got into town and we're causing way too much havoc than we should. Can't we just get along for ten minutes? We're almost there!"

Silence followed for a short space, broken only by the sound of Leonard's shoes on the grass as he made his way into town. One by one the others followed after him, with Raj and Sheldon at the back. Raj offered his hand to help Sheldon up, but the theoretical physicist shook it away.

"You know," Rajesh said. "It would go a long way if you stopped treating everyone like caca."

"Why?" Sheldon asked. "If I did, I'd be riddled with germs!"

"Whatever, dude," Raj dismissed, falling in rank with the others. Sheldon finally got himself back up and followed after them. The town was more or less bustling with people, busy with this and with that. They looked about, but could see no familiar faces. Of course, it wasn't long until those people saw the green-skinned thing walking with them and started whispering, staring: one high society Gilikin woman fainted.

"Something's wrong, dude," Raj stated. "They keep staring at us! Why are they staring at us?"

"Maybe they know genius when they see it," Sheldon said smugly.

Elphaba groaned in frustration. "It's because of me. They think I'm a freak because of my skin color."

"Really?" Leonard asked. "Wow, that's really racist. I mean, _really_! I thought this place was supposed to be a happy, blissful place over the rainbow."

"What in Oz's name are you talking about?" Elphaba asked.

"Oh! The rainbow!" Galinda exclaimed. "Like the legends about Polychrome, the Rainbow's daughter! Oh, my nannies used to read that story to me all the time when I was a little girl, it's one of my favorites!"

"Oh, dear**LORD**," Sheldon sighed exasperatedly.

They went on for a while, looking about for any sign of who they were searching for. Unfortunately, all they got were the spiteful stares and hisses and mocking laughter.

"I'm sorry to put you through this," Elphaba said to Leonard, head down and tone morose.

"Oh, don't feel sorry," Leonard replied. "This happened to us all the time, it's just like high school, right? All we need now is some giant muscle-bound jock to show up and beat the crap out of us."

Just then, he saw a tall, broad-shouldered man in one of the student uniforms walk up to them. Immediately, Leonard squirmed on the spot and held his head up glasses first, as was his custom when in uneasy situations. The others hid behind Galinda, who was even shorter than Leonard: of course, the tall, spidery Sheldon wasn't fooling anyone by hiding behind Galinda.

"Fifi!" she exclaimed. "Fiyero, there you are!"

And with that, Galinda bounced forward and threw her arms around the student.

"Galinda!" he replied. "Wait, you're actually Galinda, the _real_ Galinda."

"Why, of course I'm the real Galinda, Fiyero!" she sang. "Who were you expecting?"

Fiyero then turned to the scientists from Pasadena, who quivered at his gaze. Suddenly he jumped at them in some Arjiki battle stance as if to attack them, and sent them cowering back again. Then he broke into laughter.

"You should have seen your faces!" he laughed. "Oh, come here, I'm not gonna hurt you. In fact, I think you're the ones I'm looking for."

"We are?" Leonard asked.

"Yes, you're exactly as Penny described you."

"Penny? You've seen Penny?" Leonard said in one breath.

"Yeah," he began. "Oh, I'm Fiyero, by the way, Prince Fiyero Tiggular. I believe my reputation proceeds me."

"What reputation?" Sheldon asked.

"Ah, there you are!" Fiyero gestured to the tallest one. "She mentioned you in particular."

"Wait, where is Penny? Are the others with her?"

"Uh, they went to the Emerald City," Fiyero replied. "Something about seeing the Wizard." He paused at Elphaba. "There was another green girl with them, everyone thought she was Elphaba, but she looked nothing like you."

"Another green girl?" Elphaba asked.

"Come on, we gotta get to the Emerald City," Leonard stated. "How far is it?"

"I'm not sure, I've never been that way myself," Fiyero began, scratching his chin. "Some say you can reach it by following the Gilikin River to the North, then there's the train station. Of course, people do go both ways."

"I say we take the train!" Sheldon exclaimed. "All in favor for taking the train say 'aye?'"

"The train just left an hour ago," Fiyero said. "The next one won't be in until this evening."

* * *

**(AN: Wow, that chapter took forever.)**

**(In the meanwhile, new _TBBT_ has come out. Funny, as usual. I ship Shamy so hard, I get all giddy when there's a Shamy moment in the show. And when that girl spoke to Raj, I was like...how can you even talk back to her?! Lol, oh well, can't wait for a new episode. I hope you've been sticking around long enough to see this chapter update.)**


	14. Chapter 14

**(AN: Wow, no updates and everyone is flocking to this story [so it seems]. Lol, I have therefore seen fit to update this story, since a] there's FINALLY new TBBT episodes, b] since watching _Oz the Great and Powerful_, I've gotten Oz-fever and no way of getting out, except this and c] because so many have favorited this story, might as well give a new chapter.)**

**(A little something I should add, though. In the book _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz_, the green-glasses are there to make people think the city is emerald even though it isn't. In the 1939 movie and _Wicked_ the musical, the city actually _is_ green [and yet the glasses are in the musical]. I'll leave you to decide which is for real, as we won't really see here, not yet at least.)**

**(So yes, back to the story! And thank you for liking it!)**

* * *

"Attention, all passengers," the steward said to the people on the train. "We are approaching the Emerald City. As you may have noticed, the blinds have been closed on the train doors. This is for your own protection, as the brilliance of the city is so great that it will blind you if you look at it unprotected. At this time, we will be issuing out green-shaded glasses for you to wear to protect your eyes. Thank you and enjoy your stay at the grand capital of Oz."

A little girl dressed in green then walked among the aisles, with a green basket in her arms in which were the green-shaded glasses. As she came to the end of the car, four pairs were pulled out of the basket. One by one, Penny, Bernadette, Amy and Howard put the glasses on.

"This wasn't in the movie," Penny exclaimed.

"This is ridiculous," Amy stated, unamused.

"Might as well play along, right?" Howard suggested.

"Hey, I think there's something wrong," Bernadette squeaked as she tried to remove the glasses from her eyes. "I think they're stuck."

Penny tried to remove hers, then noticed that they were stuck as well. She raised her hand. "Steward! Uh, there seems to be a bit of a problem."

"Oh? What's that?" the steward asked.

"The glasses won't come off once you get them on," she said.

"Why of course!" he exclaimed. "That's to stop you from foolishly taking them off while in the city."

"Well, how about when we're ready to leave?"

"Oh, don't worry," the steward laughed. "The train-stewards and gate-keepers all have keys to remove the glasses from the eyes of our visitors. Enjoy your stay."

"Hmph," Amy stated. "Sounds rather suspicious."

"What do you mean?" Bernadette asked.

"Well, how do we know the city is really emerald?" Amy asked. "This whole glasses thing could be just a fraud. The whole city could be white and we're being fooled into thinking its green because these glasses make everything green." She held up her hands before her doubly bespectacled face. "Wow, now my hands don't look as green." She giggled. "Bestie, come on, look at me."

"What?" Penny asked, turning around.

"What do you see?" Amy asked.

"I see you."

"I know, I know, but am I green?"

"Amy, _everything_ is green with these on!"

"Yay!" Amy exclaimed giddily. Penny mouthed "okay" as she turned away from the ecstatic neurobiologist.

"Look, they're opening the doors," Howard stated. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

The Emerald City was exactly that: a city. For Penny, she was reminded of the first time she came to Los Angeles from Nebraska: buildings so high they were like giants reaching up into the sky, stretching on in all directions. But this was more than just a city, it was all glistening and sparkling in every shade of emerald possible. Even Amy, Bernadette and Howard were awestruck by the sheer magnitude of the city and all of his splendors.

While they were walking, they found that the street they were on led them towards the center of the city, where stood a massive building with a great domed roof, surrounded by a high green-iron fence with the Z-within-the-O symbol fashioned into the bars and gates.

"I think this is the place," Penny said, holding up the letter Amy had received, the one addressed to 'Elphaba'. "Sure looks like a pala..." Her eyes turned towards a lane that led away from the Emerald Palace lined with shops of all shapes and sizes. "Ooh! I think we should go down this way."

"Look!" Amy exclaimed. "No one's staring or pointing at me. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside." She then looked at the others. "Is this how you feel all the time?"

"Not really, Amy, sorry," Bernadette replied.

"Bestie, how about you?" Amy asked.

"Hmm?" Penny turned about, busy eying the shops. "Oh, I'm sorry, what was the question?"

"Never mind," Amy replied. "So, can we go to the palace and get this whole experience over with?"

"Hey, hold on a minute," Penny stated. "I mean, this is a new place, full of really awesome...stuff. I think we should just walk around and shop for an hour...or five."

"Penny, we're not here to shop," Bernadette replied. "We're here to see the Wizard."

"I take it he's not really a wizard," Amy spoke up. "Because there are no such things as wizards."

"Come on, Amy," Howard said. "Look at this place! Emerald city? Not to mention the animals we saw in Shiz? This is obviously real!"

"No, it isn't," she replied stoically.

"Wizard, wizard..." Penny mused. "What does that remind me of?"

"Maybe that we should be going up to the palace?" Bernadette suggested.

"Yeah, but something else," Penny stated as they turned towards the great iron gates.

The gates opened up for them, leading them into a great courtyard of paved green stone, green grass with many green hedges and a fountain in the center at the entrance of the palace with green water. Beyond the green fountain there were steps that led up to the entrance, which were a pair of great green doors gilt with gold, guarded by a short, round-bellied man whose beard and mustache were so orange that, even beneath their shades, they could tell that they were orange.

"And just who are you, strangers?" he asked as they approached.

"Don't tell him your real name," Howard whispered.

"We would like to see the Wizard," Penny spoke up.

"Nobody sees the Great Oz," the guard stated.

"Oh, please," Bernadette begged. "We've come quite a long way and we're really tired."

"Not nobody, not no-how!" the guard repeated.

"Uh, we have this letter of welcome," Amy spoke up, taking Elphaba's letter from Penny and giving it to the guard. "It's signed by the Wizard himself."

"It is, now?" the guard asked suspiciously as he read it through his green-shaded glasses. "It is!" he suddenly exclaimed. "Well, burst my buttons! So it is! I'll send this to the Wizard at once!" The strange man with the orange whiskers bolted off through the great doors, which sealed with a resounding bang as they closed behind him.

"Well, that was easy," Howard said.

"Not too easy," Penny stated. "Remember, in the movie, he comes back and tells Dorothy and her friends to go away."

"But they still got in, didn't they?" Bernadette spoke up.

"Yeah," Penny added. "But that's only because Dorothy's tears broke his heart."

"We might need you to cry if he doesn't let us in, strawberries," Amy said to Bernadette, who turned in her wheel-chair with a look of profound disturbance.

The doors were suddenly thrust open, startling all four of them, and the guard returned immediately, looking rather surprised.

"What is it?" Bernadette asked.

"Well well well!" the guard explained. "This is highly peculiar. Usually the Wizard doesn't see anyone, but...ahem! It seems that he will make an exception in your case. Although, uh, being the Great and Powerful Oz, he is rather busy. He told me to tell you that he will see you in an hour. In the meantime, do enjoy your stay in our wonderful city."

"Gee, thanks," Howard said. But the guard said nothing as he turned about and continued his rounds about the great door.

"That was easy," Penny stated, her brow furrowed in surprise.

"So, Penny," Bernadette spoke up. "Let's see those shops you were talking about."

* * *

What had started out as a few shops turned into the four of them going from shop to shop, with Howard pushing Bernadette's chair along behind them. They went everywhere Penny led them and tried on every pair of clothing she even half-fancied. There were dresses in all shapes and sizes, hats in a hundred strange styles, and shoes like none of them had ever worn before. Even though she protested, Penny ended up convincing Amy to try on a few outfits and even she had to admit she looked good in them.

As they were leaving one of the stores, a bicyclist sped past Penny, handing her four green tickets. He rang his bell but said nothing else as he sped on down the green-paved streets of the city.

"That was weird," Penny said, then showed the tickets to the others.

"'Wizomania,'" Amy read. "'See the spectacle. Showtime: 13:30.'" Her face was a dead-pan. "Really? Thirteen thirty? And you think these people are serious?"

"Remember that little chapel we passed by on the way to The Emerald Trader?" Howard spoke. "There was a clock-face on the tower, and it had thirteen hours on it. Maybe we're in a world where the days are divided into thirteen hours instead of twelve?"

"Yeah and maybe one day you won't be a creepy little pig," Penny commented. She then turned back to the tickets and examined them closely. "Hmm, might be worth seeing."

"Aww, don't worry, Howie," Bernadette said, reaching and placing her hand on his arm.

"It's okay," he dismissed. "Wasn't the first time, you know."

"Still, we might not make our appointment with, well, you know," Amy stated.

"Oh, come on, let's close our one short day in the Emerald City with a show," Penny said. "I always wanted to see a show at the Pantages, but the tickets were expensive as hell."

"Oh, alright," Bernadette conceded.

"Well, then, I guess that means I'm going too," Howard added.

"Come on, Amy," Penny said. "Are you really going to sit out here and wait for us through the entire show?"

She sighed. "Might as well go with you."

Thirty minutes later, the four of them were on their way to the Emerald Palace, all of them with different reactions to what they had just seen. Although it all seemed to be based on three words which they all shared.

"That was weird," Penny said.

"I know," Amy stated. "Remember when those things came out with the big heads and the extendable necks?"

"Seems like something out of a bad Tim Burton movie," Howard stated.

"Did anyone else notice that they didn't look fake?" Bernadette spoke up. "I mean, they didn't look like props or costumes. Almost like those were _real_."

"Please, Bernadette, be reasonable," Amy continued. "There's no way something like that could possibly exist. A neck that long would break under the weight of such a big head."

As they passed the green fountain, the guard with the orange whiskers practically scurried up to them, with a great big key in his hands.

"There you are!" he exclaimed. "What took you so...oh, bother it all! Hurry up, right this way! The Wizard will see you now!"

The great doors were thrust open and in walked the four of them into a long, darkened hallway. Once they were all inside, the doors were closed with a resounding bang. Onward they walked, though even in the dark, they could tell that something was awaiting them at the end of the long hall. Amy and Penny were the least worried of them all and so walked in front.

"You're not scared?" Howard asked.

"Me?" Penny spoke. "Tsh! I'm surprised you haven't bolted yet. Then again, if Leonard, Raj and Sheldon were here, they'd be shaking in their shoes right now. Sissies."

"There's nothing to be afraid of," Amy stated. "I may not have seen the movie, but I'm aware that magic doesn't exist. This is obviously smoke and mirrors, like those rides at Disneyland."

Into the darkness they went, until at last a pair of doors opened before them, showing a dimly lit room beyond. One by one they tip-toed into the room, wide like a giant auditorium. The room seemed abandoned and there was nothing at all around, only the glint of green coming from glass on the ceiling, though. Suddenly there was a loud explosion like a thousand thunders, and the room was flooded with bright lights. A voice roared at the top of its mighty lungs.

"_**I AM OZ THE GREAT AND**** POWERFUL!**_" it boomed. "_**WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU SEEK**** ME?!**_"

They turned their faces into the light and saw a giant head floating above a throne wreathed in a dozen flashing lights. It was the face that had spoken. Even Penny found her knees shaking involuntarily.

"Well, might as well say something," Penny hissed to Amy. "And don't use your real name."

"Why not?"

"He asked for her, he might think you're still her," Penny stated. "Now say something."

Amy turned to the giant face. "Uh, hello? My name is A...uh, Elphaba! Elphaba..."

Then a voice spoke from somewhere, a voice that sounded disproportionate from the giant booming voice of the floating head. It was a little voice, an old voice.

"Oh, that's you?" the voice asked. "I didn't see you. Just a second, now."

The giant head suddenly fell to the throne, and the lights dimmed. From behind the throne there appeared a small old man in a pinstriped suit and gray jacket.

"See?" Amy whispered to Penny. "I told you there was no real wizard."

"Holy crap on a cracker," Penny exclaimed as she saw the old man.

"I hope I didn't scare you," the old man said. "It's so hard to make out peoples' faces when I'm back there." He removed his gloves, shoving them into one of the pockets of his jacket, then removed a pair of spectacles and placed them on his old nose. "Now let's see here..."

"Oh my God!" Penny exclaimed. "You're him, aren't you?"

"I beg your pardon?" the old man asked.

"Oz Pinhead," Penny stated. "You're a Nebraska legend!"

"Uh, actually, that's not my name," the old man said.

"Huh?" Bernadette asked.

"My full name," the old man began, placing his hands proudly on his suspenders. "Is Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmanuel Ambrose Diggs."

"Yeah, O-Z-P-I-N-H-E-A-D," Penny spelled. She turned back to the others. "They call him Oz Pinhead for short."

"I am _not_ Oz Pinhead!" the old man exclaimed frustratedly. After a sigh, he composed himself and approached Penny. "Nevertheless, I see my reputation proceeds me, young lady. Would you happen to be from...Nebraska?"

"Omaha, represent," Penny exclaimed proudly.

"Aha!" the old man said triumphantly. "I could tell from your accent, classic Mid-Western. And what might your name be, young lady?"

"Penny," she said, extending her hand.

"That would be short for Penelope, I would imagine," the Wizard replied with a smile. "Named for the Queen of Ithaca in ancient Greek mythology. A pleasure, a real pleasure. Uh, do you have a last name?"

"Just Penny," she replied.

"And which one is Elphaba?" the old man asked, turning to the others.

"Uh, excuse me, Mr...?" Amy began.

"Just call me Your Ozness," he replied.

"If you insist," Amy said. "Actually, there has been a bit of a mix-up. I'm not Elphaba, my name is Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler."

"But you introduced yourself as Elphaba?" the Wizard asked. "And you're green? Madam Morrible's letter of introduction specifically stated that Elphaba had green skin."

"Yes?"

"Well," the Wizard chuckled. "Just how many green women are there in Oz?"

"Wait, surely you don't believe in all of this Oz nonsense?" Amy asked.

"Oh, it's hardly nonsense," the Wizard replied. He looked about, then leaned in and said to Amy. "I've been here for twenty-one years with no way of getting home. This very real indeed."

Penny and the others exchanged glances at Amy, who looked rather shocked at this revelation.

* * *

**(AN: Fun stuff, since, according to the book, the Wizard was from Omaha Nebraska, and Penny's from near there, obviously she would have heard of the old folk-tales of an Irish ventriloquist/carnival wizard who went missing during a tornado, returned, then disappeared once again. Lol, it's so fun, having her have knowledge and the upper hand over all the other characters.)**

**(Lots of people liking/following this story, so how about some reviews? Hmm?)**


	15. Chapter 15

**(AN: I can't believe nobody got the "Of course, people do go both ways" comment from _The Wizard of Oz_. Oh well, at least you get a new chapter update [because I forgot to update my _Skyrim_ timeline saved on my flash-drive, so that means I can only update that story when at home, which I am clearly not at this point. Please go and read that story, it is very good])**

* * *

Early morning at Shiz University in Shiz-Town. The boys dormitory, located in Ozma Towers, was where the three scientists from Los Angeles had been housed, as a bicyclist arrived at Shiz later yesterday, with the bad news of some trouble on the tracks that had delayed the train. So it was that they stayed in some of the dorms, waiting for their time to leave. Early in the morning, all was quiet and still, everyone asleep.

Knock knock knock. "People." Knock knock knock. "People." Knock knock knock. "People."

Leonard rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as the all too familiar sight of Sheldon greeted him. He was standing up, fully dressed, and knocking against the wall as though it were a door.

"Sheldon, do you have any idea what time it is?" he asked.

"Four thirty in the morning," Sheldon stated.

"And what made you think that it was a good idea to wake us all up at 4:30 in the morning?" Leonard asked again.

"The train arrives at six thirty," Sheldon returned. "That leaves us an hour and a half to be ready before it leaves at seven."

"Sheldon, just go back to sleep."

"I can't," he replied.

"Dude," Rajesh spoke up, rising from where he lay. "Do you want me to sing you 'Soft Kitty?' Maybe that will help you fall asleep."

"'Soft Kitty'," Sheldon reminded Raj. "Is for when you're sick. I'm not sick."

"Do you want a second opinion on that?" Leonard asked.

"Come on, dude," Raj whined. "We're all tired, can't we just wait until six and then get ready then?"

"Because, knowing you two ladies, we'll be horribly late and then miss the awesomeness of the train!"

"We'll be fine," Leonard grumbled. "Now go to sleep."

"Raj," Sheldon said, turning from Fiyero. "Be a lamb and wake up Fiyero."

"I don't think I can, dude," Raj replied. "He was up last night doing some rather intense drinking. He said he didn't want to wake up until it was night-fall again."

"Oh, dear **LORD**!" Sheldon exclaimed. "He's worse than you two!" Without another word, he made his way out of the room, tip-toeing across the hallway. Once he reached the stairs, he walked down them, reciting the names of the stars nearest the Earth. When he reached the bottom step...

"...These are the stars that are closest to me," he sang. "Tralala and fiddle-dee-dee." Once down, he saw someone was standing outside the door. Without another thought, he ran back up the stairs, down the hall, into the dorm-room and began knocking on the wall and calling out in a frantic voice:

Knock knock knock. "Leonard!" Knock knock knock. "Leonard!" Knock knock knock. "Leonard!"

"I'm ignoring you," Leonard grumbled from behind the door.

Knock knock knock. "Leonard!" Knock knock knock. "Leonard!" Knock knock knock. "Leonard!"

"Go away," came the response. Different worded, but the message was still the same. Leonard would not be having any of Sheldon's shenanigans, not this early in the morning.

Sheldon turned about and screamed in fright, practically jumping out of his skin as he saw the green face of Elphaba Thropp within a foot of his face.

"You're here!" he stated.

"Yeah?"

"But you're a woman!"

"That's debatable," Elphaba replied, crossing her arms.

"But you're here! And you're a woman, and you're _here!_"

"Your point being?"

"Elphie, please!" a voice groaned from the other side of the hallway. From up the stairs, walking like one of the living dead, was Galinda, clad in a pink night-gown with furry pink slippers and a pink blind-fold that said "Sparkles" on it in white, glittery letters. "It's too early for this."

Sheldon turned back to the door and shouted in a frantic voice. Knock knock knock. "Leonard!" Knock knock knock. "Leonard!" Knock knock knock. "Leonard!"

"If you knock one more time..."

"No, Leonard, there's women up here!" Sheldon exclaimed.

"So?"

"So?! So?! So this is the men's dormitory. There aren't supposed to be women here!"

"Sheldon, please..."

"We're going to be late if you boys don't wake up!" Elphaba exclaimed.

"She's right!" Sheldon added. "We should be leaving now."

Suddenly, from down the hall, a door opened and Boq stuck his head out of the door.

"What's going on out here?" he groaned. "Don't you know it's the middle of the morning for Oz's s..." He paused, as his eyes saw Galinda's long, shapely legs sticking out from the bottom of her night-gown. "I must be dreaming."

"Ew, Bick!" Galinda exclaimed, skipping over behind Elphaba to hide herself from Boq's view.

"You two are shouting so loud, it's a wonder everyone in Ozma Towers aren't awake!" Boq exclaimed.

"Do you see?" Sheldon asked. "Now this wouldn't have happened if we just went to the train when I said so."

Another door opened and out walked a very annoyed Leonard.

"Alright alright," he groaned, placing his glasses atop his nose. "I'm up, we'll go."

"Thank you," Sheldon nodded.

"Really?" Leonard asked. "You woke us all up in the middle of the night and all we get is a thank you?"

"Thank you very much," Sheldon added, then ran into the room to wake up the others.

"A real charmer, that one," Elphaba stated.

"You don't say," Leonard replied.

* * *

**(AN: Seriously, there are some things in _Wicked_ [the book, rather than the musical] which bend the laws of plausibility even more than _The Matrix_ or _Doctor Who_. One of those is that Elphaba is, well, a hermaphrodite. That was where the "That's debatable" came from, as a not-too-subtle nod at the extremely subtle innuendo that I pretty much had to be TOLD was there before I realized it.)**

**(Another one is that Elphaba is somehow completely unaware that her many and frequent sexual liaisons with Fiyero were what brought about Liir, or that she could spend pretty much a year completely comatose, give birth while comatose, and then have no recollection of what happened. Honestly, you're purported to be smart, Elphaba, how did you _not_ know that unprotected sexual intercourse leads to children?)**

**(But yeah, my musings about that aside, _TBBT_ is such that we could actually do this, devote a whole chapter to Sheldon and his obsessive compulsiveness and how a simple thing as waking up is a chore with him.)**


End file.
